What’s Good? (Best of Winter TV 2017… & Iron Fist)

I haven’t done one of these in a while.

I guess it’s hard to make lists of what’s good in the world of entertainment when the real world is going to hell in a hand-basket… a hand-basket made of shit.

Once again, Legion, you’ve summed up my feelings precisely.

I know we can’t read tone and inflection on the internet. And sometimes the actual meaning of what we want to say is lost in its misinterpretation. So I’m gonna need for all of you reading this to picture the next sentence with ALL the sarcasm. (ALL OF IT!!!)

“The United States is in a really good place right now.”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke?” “Hey. Hey. Hey. He didn’t mean it like that.”

So instead of spending all day in fear, I have chosen to escape to the land of nod. You know what I mean. While we wait for the next embarrassment, the next offense or the next outrage, I’ll be looking for the next distraction until the revolution starts. (which will not be on TV by the way).

Personally I blame the internet for all of this, but that’s a story for another time.

“Does that mean we WON’T be needing the goat?”

The goat stays.

What follows is a list of TV shows that are freaking unbelievably good and entertaining and well-written and sexy and escapist and brilliant and words fail me. And while it is true that I have talked about most of these in the past… THEY’RE STILL AMAZING.

I think Winter is my favorite TV season.

Let me explain…

“Get on with it, Melvin.”

The Americans is back and better than ever. That show has been consistently good from day one and will go down as one of the best in history.  Bates Motel is having their best season as well. Vera Farmiga has actually turned it up a notch (give the woman an Emmy already). Girls on HBO, just a couple of weeks ago, aired the best episode in its entire series run. A brilliant stand-alone story, that featured Matthew Rhys from The Americans by coincidence, which was just a conversation between a young writer and her creepy literary idol. (Rarely do I watch a show and then watch it again right after. I’ve already watched the episode three times. I wish it were a movie). The Superheroes on the CW are kicking ass on a weekly basis (even DC Legends has gotten better now that it’s embraced its fundamental silliness and monumental nerdy-ness).

Jane the Virgin lost its virginity but did not lose its creativity or its charm. And there are lots of new bisexual characters on my favorite shows. (That list is coming soon… it’s mostly women this time. Not my fault. There’s a shortage of bi men and an abundance of bi women recently. I’m not complaining. Well, I’m kind of complaining. I’m both complaining and not complaining. It’s confusing… that’s a joke). Star Wars Rebels has been amaze-balls this season. Running almost parallel with the events of Rogue One and setting up A New Hope (I almost want to spoil it but I can’t). BEN!!! (I couldn’t help it). Black SailsHomeland the list goes on.

But I’m not talking about any of those shows here today.

“Am I wrong or did he not just talk about them?” “Here comes the part we’ve been waiting for, sire.” “Well don’t just stand there. Keep cranking that monkey.”

What follows is a list of ten absolutely fantastic (relatively new) TV shows (with one notable exception…One of these shows is actually complete and utter garbage. But we’ll get to that one later… okay it’s Iron Fist… I can’t keep a secret).

So ask me the question already…

Go ahead.

Ask me.

Not THAT question, you idiot.

WHAT’S GOOD?

I’m glad you asked.

The Expanse (SyFy)

Developed by Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby

Based on The Expanse series of novels by James S. A. Corey

Starring Thomas JaneSteven StraitCas AnvarDominique TipperWes ChathamPaulo CostanzoFlorence FaivreShawn DoyleShohreh Aghdashloo & Frankie Adams

“It’s been too long since we’ve had a really kick-ass space opera.”  – George R.R. Martin

We’re in season two now, so if you don’t know The Expanse, you’re a little late to the party but there’s still time for you to catch up. There are three main factions in the 23rd century: Earth (Earthers, Inners, Tumang), all the power, all the resources, United Nations controlled, corrupt bureaucrats and corporations;

“Is that a gun in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?” “It better be a gun.”

Mars Colony (Martians, Inners, Pomang), lacking in resources but making up for it in military might, they put all their effort into building a strong military because they were tired of being Earth’s red-headed step-child;

“Unte kowlting gut, to pochuye ke?”

and The Belt (Belters, Outer Planets, Beltalowda), the workers, born in space, mining asteroids and the moons of Jupiter for water and other resources, no resources of their own, no military, but without them Mars would have no way to get water. Without them Earth corporations would have no leverage over Mars.

Kewe to pensa ere The Expanse, beratna?

There’s a war coming between Earth and Mars. I don’t know for sure because I haven’t read the books but it’s like winter in Game of Thrones; that shit is right around the corner. And yes I just compared it to Game of Thrones. The Expanse is THAT good. Great performances, great story, great direction, fantastic special effects. The Expanse is quite possibly the best thing on TV right now with a language all its own.

But while The Expanse might be the best thing on TV right now, it is not my favorite thing on TV right now. My favorite thing is…

The Magicians (SyFy)

Created by Sera Gamble & John McNamara

Based on The Magicians by Lev Grossman

Starring Jason RalphStella MaeveOlivia Taylor DudleyHale Appleman, Arjun Gupta, Summer BishilRick Worthy & Jade Tailor

“Did you bring me little cakes?” – Umber (Horned Golden Ram God of Fillory)

The Magicians is like if Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a baby and that baby grew up to be as hot as Emma Watson is right now. Oh my god, I love this show so much. Seriously.

Queen Margo and King Eliot

The Magicians is also in its second season and if you’re not watching it… I don’t know, I question your judgement. This show is sensational. And I know I’ve said this a bunch of times but I’m just going to keep right on saying it. I love everything about this show. I love the cast. I love the writing. I love the world. I love the story. And I love that it is the most bi-friendly TV show since True Blood (and you know how I love to see healthy bisexual representation on my TV).

“Is he talking about bisexuality again?” “We get it. You like guys and girls. We’re over it.”

This show has it all. Magic. Mystery. Adventure. Comedy. Time travel. Six-fingered bad guys singing show tunes. Large magical creatures wearing diapers. Hot teachers. Hot librarians. Hot students. Hot teachers and hot librarians hooking up with hot students. Little cakes. Did I mention the little cakes?

The Royal Family

Just watch the show.

Next… more magic.

Emerald City (NBC)

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Based on the Oz book series by L. Frank Baum

Starring Adria ArjonaOliver Jackson-CohenAna UlaruMido HamadaGerran Howell, Jordan Loughran, Joely Richardson & Vincent D’Onofrio

“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” – Dorothy Gale

Okay Emerald City just ended its first season and I see a lot of people putting it down but I, for one, enjoyed it. You know me. I’m all in for a good re-imagining of the classics. And with Emerald City, Tarsem Singh created my favorite version of the Land of Oz. A steam punk meets Song of Ice and Fire meets Cirque du Soleil, Land of Oz with giants and warring factions and flying monkey drones and outlawed magic and witches… and guns. And witches with guns. I really liked this show.

‘I am the Wizard of Oz.” “I thought you were the Kingpin.” “Can’t a man be both?”

In fact, I loved it. And I sincerely hope it comes back for another season and I hope Tarsem directs every episode again. Because it’s so gorgeous that I wanted to watch each one again… and I probably will. If I ever find the time. There’s so much good TV.

Next… I don’t even know what to call this one. It’s not a superhero show.

Legion (FX)

Created by Noah Hawley

Based on Legion by Chris Claremont & Bill Sienkiewicz

Starring Dan StevensRachel KellerAubrey PlazaBill IrwinJeremie HarrisAmber MidthunderKatie Aselton & Jean Smart

“What is your name?”  – Jesus (from the bible)

“My name is Legion. For we are many.”  – Legion (also from the bible)

Okay. Okay. I watched the first episode of Legion, the new comic book based show from the creator of Fargo, and I was like, wow that was pretty bland. Then after the second episode I felt like I knew more what they were trying to get at and felt it was worth my time. After episode three I was seriously hooked. I loved the characters. I loved the sixties fashion. The tongue-in-cheek attitude. It’s amazingly original and fun and I was completely wrong about it. Well anyway, we’re six episodes in and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen in my fucking life… IN MY LIFE!!! It is frightening how good this show is. Frightening. (I think I’m gonna cry… seriously)

“So tell me are we inside your mind or outside your mind right now?” “I don’t know.” “Well that’s kind of scary don’t you think?” “Scary is not the word for it.”

Legion is about a powerful mutant. The back-story is that he’s Professor X’s kid (they may or may not keep this for the show but it doesn’t matter) and he’s got reality warping powers. Basically he’s the most powerful mutant on the planet (possibly in the universe) with awesome god-like powers. Now, that would be boring for a story because basically he can do anything he wants at any time but… you see… he’s not entirely sane in his mind. Also he’s not entirely alone in there either. So most of the comic book takes place in his mind. His main bad guy is inside him. And if you’re thinking, well how the hell are they going to bring that to TV and make it enjoyable. They did it. They fucking did it. And I think I’m going to cry. It’s so good.

“What’s for dinner? Is it chaos again? Are we having utter chaos again?”

Legion is really good and done very well. Noah Hawley has done an excellent job. Fargo is one of the coolest shows on TV and Legion is right up there with it. But it still kind of frightens me because it could go so wrong so fast. I really hope it stays grounded.

And I also like seeing heroes coping with mental disorders in my fiction (almost as much as I like seeing bisexual heroes) It’s refreshing and it’s identifiable.

Oh shit.

To the list!!!

Top Ten Fictional Heroes with Mental Disorders:

10. StormX-Men – Severe Claustrophobia

9. Martin RiggsLethal Weapon – Suicidal, Manic Depressive

8. Tony Stark/Iron Man – Extreme Narcissist (comics), PTSD (movies)

7. Carrie MathesonHomeland – Manic Depressive – Borderline

6. Jason BourneThe Bourne Identity – Amnesic, Dissociate

5. Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk –  Multiple Identity Disorder, (Split Personality)

4. David Haller/Legion – Schizophrenic, (see also Demonic Possession)

“That’s me. Everybody dance.”

3. Bruce Wayne/Batman – Obsessive, Compulsive, Social Phobic

2. Sherlock Holmes – Obsessive, Compulsive, Narcissistic, Sociopath

1. James Bond – Dissociate, Extreme Sociopath (Bordering on Psycho)

It was a quickly thrown together list with very likely mislabeled or misdiagnosed disorders but it was fun to compile.

But anyway. I love Legion on FX. I love the casting. I love the story. I love that it’s funny and absurd and romantic. I love that they respect the source material, making it the most original and creative television show in history. Legion is almost too good. Nope. It is literally too good. Because shows that are this good do not last for long (And just thinking about it going away makes me want to cry).

Next… Aliens

Colony (USA)

Created by Carlton Cuse

Starring Josh HollowaySarah Wayne CalliesPeter JacobsonAmanda RighettiTory KittlesAlex Neustaedter & Isabella Crovetti-Cramp

“I’m sorry if I still have a little crush on Sawyer and Carl’s mom.”  – Mel 

Colony is finishing up its second season and it was better than the first. Colony is the story of Earth after alien invasion. Humans are separated into colonies by force and into two factions; Collaborators and Resistance, by necessity.

“Sawyer?” “Yeah, Carl’s mom?” “Do you think Mel will be able to imagine us as anything other than those two characters?” “With our clothes on or off?” “Good point.”

The two lead actors are both very hot, which adds to my enjoyment of the show (sue me. I’d like to have sex with both of these people Is that so wrong? Should I keep that to myself?). Josh Holloway and Sarah Wayne Callies play Will and Katie Bowman. One works for the authority and the other runs with the resistance. But it’s not like they’re on opposite sides. They are on each other’s side. It makes for a great story. And the writing is what I like best. Colony has a good premise. And a good mystery. And Carlton Cuse doesn’t slowly drip out the answers like he’s done in the past. We start learning about the aliens early on. But there is still a lot more to learn.

“Just as long as nobody moves and nobody mentions Prison Break we’ll be fine.”

The stories are gritty and cool and suspenseful. And the action and the political drama make Colony one of the best shows on TV right now. And season two cranks up the suspense and brings the rest of the family into the story. So they’re turning into a family of bad-asses and I love that shit.

Let’s move over to Netflix

Love (Netflix)

Created by Judd Apatow, Lesley Arfin & Paul Rust

Starring Gillian Jacobs, Paul Rust & Claudia O’Doherty

“I once had sex w/ a guy whose dick was so small I thought it was a clitoris.” – Bertie Bauer

Love is the story of two broken people trying to make a relationship work. It is quirky and funny and absurd (but in a yeah that could totally happen sort of way). It stars Gillian Jacobs and Paul Rust, one of the shows creators, who is not the best actor but embodies the character to a Woody Allen type level. But Gillian is the stand out here for me. She plays this fragile warrior sex addict to perfection and I just want to scoop her up and plop her on my couch. Him, not so much.

“Him not so much? What does that even mean?” “Well at least he doesn’t want to plop you on his couch. Plop me? Is that a euphemism? Is that a sex act?”

I find him more annoying than likable but it’s not a deal-breaker because it’s a very well-written show. And he is a three-dimensional character. I just sometimes wish he had cast another actor to play his part. But look at me, I’m finding fault in something I love. Blowing a little problem out of proportion. Like some kind of self-sabotage. Ignore me.

Do people still smoke? Is that like still a thing? I don’t get out much.

Love is very funny with a lot of great minor characters. The two main characters both work in entertainment, her in radio, him in TV. And the show spends a lot of time on their separate lives. On their work and on their friends. So when they come together, it’s almost like two separate shows connecting through them. It’s a brilliant structure.

“I’m not Woody Allen. I’m not even Jewish. I’m Catholic. And this… this is not Annie Hall.”

And I’m sorry I insulted it before. It’s always only been about them. I mean I like Catastrophe too. Catastrophe is a great relationship show on Amazon. But the characters aren’t as likable. Don’t get me wrong, I think Catastrophe is very funny. And it’s not like I like Amazon more than Netflix. And it’s not like me and Netflix were exclusive or anything. But look at me, talking about another show and another network in my review. I really suck at this.

“This oughta shut you up.” “You said that into my mouth.”

Let me explain. You see, I’m sort of TV addicted and it’s hard for me to commit to just one show or just one network. But I think I’m ready. Can we start over?

Travelers (Netflix)

Created by Brad Wright

Starring Eric McCormackMacKenzie Porter, Nesta Cooper, Jared Abrahamson, Reilly Dolman & Patrick Gilmore

“I distracted myself from the fear and terrorism by thinking about things like how the universe began and whether time travel is possible.”  – Malala Yousafzai

Here’s a show I just discovered on Netflix and was completely blown away. Travelers is a time travel drama like Continuum meets Quantum Leap meets 12 Monkeys. It is some of the tightest time travel writing around. This show is extremely well-written and intelligent and deals with Time Travel paradox in a smart and original way.

Protocol 4 – Don’t Reproduce

But, by far, the best thing about Travelers is the characters. Each of the “travelers” from the future assume the identity and take over the body of a person from our time who is about to die. Seconds before they die. So, first they have to save their own life and then they become that person. And from that moment on they have to pretend to be that person who should actually be dead, all the while knowing only what they learned about them from social media and computer databases in the future. Not the most accurate.

Protocol 1 – The Mission Comes First

The travelers have a precise list of protocols that govern their actions. This is another fantastic part of the show. Like mini prime directives (from Star Trek) that control their behavior so that they don’t do too much damage to the time-line. But if you know time-travel shows then you know that’s laughable.

Protocol 3 – Don’t Take a Life. Don’t Save a Life.

Travelers is an action and adventure show that’s good just from that perspective but it’s the drama in assuming and continuing the life of some one who would have died, that makes Travelers truly outstanding. This is some brilliant writing. With good performances. And a great cast.

Protocol 5 – In The Absence of Direction, Maintain Your Host’s Life

Travelers is fantastic and it has been renewed for a second season… THANK THE DIRECTOR. (that’s a Travelers joke. It’s very funny. Just watch the show)

Next… from Brazil…

3% (Netflix)

Created by Pedro Aguilera

Starring Bianca ComparatoJoão Miguel, Michel Gomes & Rodolfo Valente

“People who would go to an art house cinema and watch a (foreign) movie and read subtitles… it’s a small percentage.” – Steven Zaillian

The 3% is a science fiction drama from Brazil. Watch it with the subtitles people. I know that means you have to actually pay attention and you can’t look away for a few seconds to check your phones but it’s worth it for the original performances and not just the English dub. But if you need to watch it dubbed then watch it dubbed. I’ll just sit in quiet judgement. It really doesn’t matter. The story is awesome either way.

Michel Gomes as Fernando Carvalho

3% is an intriguing story about an overpopulated city in the future and a “process” they use to decide who gets to live in a Utopia just offshore. Only 3% get selected, young people, and they only get one chance to make it through the trials… the process.

Bianca Comparato as Michele Santana

Of course there are other things going on. There are machinations behind the scenes and politics and a rebellion against the process. And then of course there is a love story. And a story of survival. And redemption. And… the show is awesome. I kid you not.

3% has Tough Guys with pipes

But the main story follows several “candidates” as they go through the trials. It’s like The 100 meets The Hunger Games meets Logan’s Run. It’s very good. There are eight fantastically suspenseful episodes of the first season. But I honestly don’t know if it’s as good dubbed as it is with subtitles. I watched it with the subtitles on because I’m all like sophisticated and shit. But you can always switch back and forth, if you’re easily distracted. (I’m just kidding. I kept forgetting that there were subtitles. And I would look down to check my phone. And then realize that I didn’t actually understand what they were saying when I wasn’t looking. It was awful… the internet has destroyed us).

3% has Heartbreaking Romance

3% is a really cool Brazilian Netflix series that has been confirmed for a second season.

And then there’s…

Iron Fist (Netflix)

Iron Fist Poster Not Found. #IronFisted

Created by Scott Buck

Based on Iron Fist by Roy Thomas & Gil Kane

Starring Finn JonesJessica HenwickTom PelphreyJessica StroupRamón RodríguezSacha DhawanRosario Dawson & David Wenham

“His fist glows, he’s got a beard, he has enemies. Boom. Now let’s do the team-up thing.”  – Marvel Television

I know. I know. Let’s slam on the brakes for a second. Iron Fist is horrible. It is awful. It’s like instead of a script they had an eleven year-old kid flailing his arms and making kung-fu noises. “And then Iron Fist goes BAM. And then the bad guy is like POW. But Iron Fist’s got him in a headlock and WOOSH and then a kick and then a punch… got it? Okay? ACTION!!!” and yes the kid was also the director.

He actually farts and was trying to play it off by beating one of her students and that makes more sense than what happens on the screen in Marvel’s Netflix’s Iron Fist.

No honestly, it’s the worse show. But look at it this way. The Defenders can only be better. There’s no way it could be any worse. Iron Fist is total garbage. Netflix had painted themselves into a corner. Daredevil was amazing. And then Jessica Jones was even better than that. So then season two of Daredevil was only pretty good and we’re like maybe they leveled off but then… Luke Cage was fucking great too. It was too much good. And they had already committed to release The Defenders. So all they had to do was put out an Iron Fist series. And you get to a point where there is just too much good. And all that’s left on the creative pile is crap. The Defenders or Iron Fist or both was going to have to be crap. It’s the nature of the universe. It’s just basic physics.

Sometimes they have to sacrifice acting for fighting ability and sometimes they have to sacrifice fighting ability for acting chops. It’s rare when they sacrifice both for naturally curly hair.

So what Iron Fist did was it took one for the team. It used up all the negative space. It sucked up all the crap. And it lowered expectations for the team-up. Iron Fist is as relatively bad as all three of the other Marvel Netflix origin seasons are good… combined. It’s that bad. It’s so bad that The Defenders is going to be Earth-shattering by comparison. You can’t get worse than Iron Fist without losing subscribers. You also can’t make something that cheesy looking and not realize it. The sets are laughable. I thought I was watching old Star Trek reruns. They show the kid being beaten by monks in what’s supposed to be a monastery in a mystical city but they look like they’re in a re-purposed janitor’s closet. It’s bad.

Why does Iron Fist have an erection? Does anyone know? And why is he on a Star Trek planet?

It’s impressively bad. The dialogue is practically offensive. It’s so awful. They used to sneak out of the monastery to have donkey meat? Where is this donkey meat cart located? Or are they killing someone else’s donkey, eating a very small part of it and leaving the rest to rot? Unless he’s talking about sucking a donkey’s dick, it makes absolutely no sense. I can’t start talking about the show critically because I’m just going to get angry.

“No questions… yes, you have a question?”

But I’m still recommending that everyone watch Iron Fist. You’ll want to turn it off after episode three but don’t. And no it doesn’t get any better. It actually gets worse. There’s no humor. There’s no romance. And the so-called bad guys are totally right. Danny Rand is an awful person. As one guy puts it. He’s the worse Iron Fist ever. But… Oh my god. There’s a scene where Iron Fist is being chased through a crowd and to blend in he picks up a mask and puts it on his face. DOESN’T CHANGE HIS CLOTHES or his jacket or anything. He isn’t facing the guy chasing him… like as if that would matter anyway. But then he loses the guy because he doesn’t see him wearing that dumb mask. There is no way they couldn’t tell what they were making was garbage. There’s no way they couldn’t tell. It had to be made shitty on purpose.

“Yes we did just fly to China on a private jet and kidnap someone and take them back to America with us on that same private jet… why do you ask? Is that hard to do?”

So now I’m convinced that Iron Fist was made bad on purpose. And I want to thank the makers. They took a bullet for the team. Pour out a little for the dead on arrival Iron Fist. I mean it is monumentally awful. Truly, truly awful. But it can only serve to make The Defenders look incredible by comparison.

And lastly one pilot from Amazon…

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Pilot)

Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino

Starring Rachel Brosnahan, Tony Shalhoub, Marin Hinkle & Alex Borstein

“Women are smart and funny. Get over it.”  – Eric Cartman

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is about a 1950’s housewife who decides to become one of the first female stand-up comics. It is a fantastic period drama about comedy from the creator of Gilmore Girls. And it has that quick-witted Gilmore Girls style to the writing and the dialogue. But the best part is the marvelous Rachel Brosnahan in the title role.

“Who makes a toast at her own wedding? I do.”

Mrs. Maisel is the story of the most amazingly funny and smart and cute and remarkable woman. It is hard (really hard) not to fall in love with her. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is like Mad Men meets 30 Rock meets I don’t know Buffy? It’s the story of a pioneering female comedian in the late fifties. Maybe she’s Phyllis Diller. Maybe she’s Carol Burnett. Maybe she’s amazing.

“Yes my phone has a cord connecting it to the base. That’s how you know it’s the fifties and not the eighties or the nineties. Why do you ask? And where the hell is my microwave oven?”

She’s awesome. I love funny women and the show makes you fall in love with her almost immediately as she deals with the 50’s era and then accidentally discovers that she has a talent for making people laugh. It’s just a pilot right now but please check it out. It’s the best they have this season on Amazon. I watched them all. There’s not a lot of good there. And I hope The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel doesn’t get buried in that pile because it’s great even when compared to established shows. It’s just a thousand times better than the other pilots this season.

“Dear Diary. I can do so much better than this schmo. Love Midge. PS. I have half a mind to tell the driver to take me to Mel’s house. But it’s the fifties and he’s a negro.”

And I really really really want to see more of her… of it… I mean the show… of the show… okay I’m in love with the character. Bring her back. I have a thing for funny smart women (Fictional, Non-fictional). I always have. It’s a sickness. I find smart and funny women sexy as all hell.

Watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime Pilot Season… please.

So that’s what’s good.

Find these shows. Watch these shows. Love these shows as much as I do. And then you’ll be all caught up and ready for the return of Doctor Who, Game of Thrones and Dark Matter. Just to name a few.

“Om Mani Padme… um… um… I want to say Om again but that can’t be right.”

Man. When I was a kid there was like a handful of superhero shows and a few more space adventures and a couple of sword & sorcery shows, but they were mostly all crap.

You kids have it so much better than we did.

We had to watch crappy science fiction on TV all the time.

AND YOU NEVER THANKED US!!!

– Mel

Top Ten Bisexual TV Characters ALL NEW 2016 (Mega Post)

I haven’t done one of these in a while. And I’m sorry.

Anne Bonny Fuck You

BY THE WAY YOU CAN SKIP THESE NEXT FIVE PARAGRAPHS AND…

I think pointing out Bisexual TV characters is important because it is so easy for a writer to erase a character’s bisexuality by making them confused or insane or they’ve just been gay the whole time and in denial or in the closet or they’ve just been straight the whole time and undercover or whatever. The goddamn character is bisexual. Stop trying to take it back. It’s so annoying. Have some guts.

"I don't know what he's talking about." "He's talking about us."

“I don’t even know what he’s talking about.” “He’s talking about us, sweetie.”

I lived in a sexually binary world. Gender was always one thing or the other to me. And I understand that people are allowed to define themselves in any way they choose. But before we get bogged down in what you would like yourself to be called, once upon a time there were two genders. Scientifically and naturally. Bisexuality was a sexual attraction to both. It encompassed everyone. Male and female meant everyone. I realize that’s not true anymore and in fact it never was true.

Lucifer Morningstar

“Congratulations. You may fuck me now.”

We realized that sexuality was a spectrum. And that gender was a spectrum. And there were more genders than stars in the sky. And Bisexuality became an archaic term before it was ever universally accepted (to my liking). I’ve called myself Bisexual for decades (all my life) and now it’s become a bone of contention in a community that always seemed to be trying to erase us, or deny us, to begin with. Because of a myriad of gender identities, Bisexuality is almost an insult or at least a misnomer. But the only truly accurate moniker for anyone’s sexuality is to put that person’s full name in front of the suffix “sexual” and just leave it at that.

Shannara Chronicles

“Woah. That’s so deep.”

Bisexuality means you can be attracted to the masculine and to the feminine and to all points in between. But really it’s about the gender being less important than the person. So yeah, Bi can mean two. And by definition it would seem to be stating that there are only two genders. And we know that’s not true. But by the same token, Hetero means different. And as long as you are attracted to someone whose gender identity is not the same as your own then you are technically Heterosexual. And we know that’s not always true. It’s not an accurate translation. Neither is Transsexual. It is the term that we use. It is not an insult or a reduction or an erasure. It is just the word that we use.

Sara Lance isn't Lesbian she's Bi

So here when I say a character is Bisexual, I mean at some point in the show they were dating, fucking or stating an attraction to a man, and to a woman at one point. It is as simple as that. And I know that it isn’t always as simple as that. But in a quest for individuality, we’ve made things less inclusive and maybe even less accepting. When I can look at a list of the hundreds of words used to define gender identity and sexual identity and check off forty or fifty of them that apply to me and not feel unique but just feel alone, there’s something wrong with this system. While what is more accurate is the less defined fact that I am attracted to people. I find male parts attractive. I find female parts attractive. But I find hearts and minds even more so. I belong to that group. That all-inclusive, hugely accepting group that thinks human beings are sexy. My generation called them Bisexual, called us Bisexual… And you know what? I still like the name.

Riley on New Girl

…AND YOU CAN JUST START FROM RIGHT HERE

Here are ten Bisexual TV characters that I did not mention in the previous lists. Here, and the other one; Here. Because they are brand spanking new.

As always the rules are:

1. I have to like the show they’re on.

2. I have to find them attractive, sexy etc.

And

3. They have to be arguably Bisexual on the show.

And if you don’t know what I mean by Bisexual then you must have skipped the previous five paragraphs (I don’t blame you).

SPOILERS ALERT: There will be minor sexual spoilers throughout. Nothing big. But if I’m going to call the character bisexual then I have to explain the context by which I give them that label. It’s not always black and white.

Empire Season 2  Episode 9

“…and IIII will tryyyy to fix you.” “Please don’t.”

To the list…

Number 10.

Darryl Whitefeather (The Boss) from Crazy Ex Girlfriend (CW)

Darryl and White Josh

Portrayed by Pete Gardner

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical comedy that is among my favorite new shows but the way they handled this character’s coming out story was damn near perfect. He kisses a boy and he likes it after being married to a woman for years and after his divorce. And he is confused for a couple of days then at a yoga class he is glancing back and forth from a man’s tight ass to a woman’s and he goes back and forth and back and forth until finally realizing. “Wait a minute… I’m Bisexual.”

Darryl Whitefeather Bisexual Man

The character is cute but the way they handle his self-discovery, and the way the character handles it, puts him on this list. It was just perfect. And of course there was a funny song to go with it.

Number 9.

Elijah Krantz (The Gay Best Friend) from Girls (HBO)

Elijah Krantz

Portrayed by Andrew Rannells

Before people get up in arms, Elijah is a perfect example of a character who defines himself as gay but is also (somewhat) attracted to women. At one point he claims that he may not be 100% gay but a little Bisexual… and he’s cute, so he made the list.

Elijah and Marnie on the couch

And HBO’s Girls is still one of the funniest and cringe-worthy comedies on TV.

Number 8.

Eretria (The Thief) from The Shannara Chronicles (MTV)

Eretria

Portrayed by Ivana Baquero

This little hottie is a human raised by a band of roving thieves. She is hot, sexy, cunning. She has relations with men, women, elves and half elves and did I mention that she’s hot?

Eretria and Wil

The Shannara Chronicles has been renewed for a second season and I’m pleased. I like the show. I like the world. I like the cast. And I want them to live up to their potential.

Eretria and Amberle

I also want to see more of this Bisexual character putting moves on the Elven-folk.

Number 7.

Lucifer Morningstar (The Devil) from Lucifer (FOX)

Lucifer FOX

Portrayed by Tom Ellis

Lucifer likes sex. He has sex with lots of women and… lots of men. He has orgies and three-ways and he’s very hot. He’s the best thing about the show Lucifer.

Lucifer Threeway

I guess he’s not really Bisexual. He’s just the devil and the devil likes to fuck but… He’s still very very hot. I really like this show.

Number 6.

White Canary – Sara Lance (The Assassin) from DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (CW)

Sara Lance

Portrayed by Caity Lotz

I, absent-mindedly, left Ms. Lance off my previous list before her character was killed on Arrow but she’s back. (Ooh Spoiler Alert) She’s still hot and she still qualifies for the list.

Sara and Talia

She dated Oliver Queen and then she dated Talia Al Ghul (Ras Al Ghul’s daughter) on Arrow. She continues breaking hearts on Legends. Legends isn’t the best but some of the characters from Flash and from Arrow are still fun to watch. Especially Sara.

Number 5.

Amos Burton (The Engineer) from The Expanse (Syfy)

The-Expanse-Wes-Chatham-as-Amos-Burton

Portrayed by Wes Chatham

Amos Burton is one of the great characters from the sensational Syfy show The Expanse. We learn more and more about him as the season progresses and we learn a little about his sexuality. It is my belief that he’s a Bisexual character. The clues are there. Plus he’s hot. He’s very hot. I’ve never read the books but I’m pretty sure the character is Bi. I could be wrong. It could just be wishful thinking.

Amos Burton The Expanse

But I’m still very sure the character is hot.

Number 4.

Riley (The New Girl) from New Girl (FOX)

Megan Fox as Riley on New Girl

Portrayed by Megan Fox

This woman, who was barely on the show, is this high on the list because she is played by a Bisexual actor (which is always a plus) and it’s Megan Fox and she’s so cool and she’s smoking hot. But the character herself is awesome even if she was only around for a few episodes. She was a force of nature.

New Girl renewed for season 6 with Megan Fox set to return

Riley represented a very positive portrayal of a Bisexual woman. And she was fun and funny. And I kind of miss her. She will be back I hear. But really they should give her a spin-off. FOX we want a New Girl spin-off starring Riley.

Megan Fox on New Girl

Don’t listen to her. Just make it happen.

Number 3.

Anne Bonny (The Pirate) from Black Sails (Starz)

Anne Bonny

Portrayed by Clara Paget

Black Sails is one of the best shows on television. The character of Anne Bonny is under-used but she’s a bad-ass and she’s gorgeous. Played by British model Clara Paget, she discovers her Bisexuality during the series and has a complicated relationship with her longtime male partner, Jack Rackham and her female love interest (I can’t think of her character’s name now but honestly she’s the worse thing about the show. Her acting and her accent are horrible).

Anne Bonny and Jack Rackham

Anne Bonny is a historical figure as well as Jack Rackham and their partner Mary Read. Anne was a pirate and she was a wife and she was a mom. And she was a bad-ass.

Black Sails

Her sexual exploits are not recorded. The writers of Black Sails have just spiced her story up a bit. But as a female pirate,  I’m sure there were rumors.

Number 2.

Jamal Lyon (The Songwriter) from Empire (FOX)

Jamal Lyon

Portrayed by Jussie Smollett

This is like spotting a rare species of flightless bird. The Bisexual Black Male Character. Even as the writers try their best to take it back. I bet they got letters.

Jamal on Empire

The beautiful Jamal Lyon shines through their horrible attempts to erase his Bisexuality. The character is Bi and I wish they would let him just be Bi. Because he’s fucking gorgeous and he makes a wonderful addition to this list.

Jamal Lyon and Alisha Keys

He’s a songwriter and a musician and his family doesn’t approves of his lifestyle. (someone’s been reading my e-mails) He’s a fantastic character. If only the writers would stop fucking with his sexual identity and have some guts. I’m looking at you, Danny.

Number 1.

Clarke Griffin (Wanheda) from The 100 (CW)

Clarke Griffin The 100

Portrayed by Eliza Taylor

Who didn’t see this one coming. Clarke is the most bad-ass character on a show full of bad-asses. A beautifully Bisexual character with no apologies and no explanations. She’s with a guy. She’s with a girl. She’s very passionate. She’s very cool. And she is forever doomed. I love the character and I love the show.

The 100 Clarke and Finn

Recently she had another relationship… um disaster and the internet got all mad about it. But I’m like, how could you not know that was going to happen. My girl leaves destruction in her wake. Her body count is greater than anyone else’s on the show… by a lot.

Clarke and Lexa

Any relationship she gets into is doomed, man or woman. The name they gave her, Wanheda means Commander of the Dead. Deal with it internet.

The 100 Clarke and Lexa

Oh my god. The Feeeeeeeeeeeels !!!

And that’s my Sexy Bisexual TV Characters Top Ten list for 2016.

But wait. There’s more. Clarke Griffin might be number one on this year’s list but the true number one is an entire show. The Winner for Top Bisexual TV Character is..

The Magicians (The Magicians) from The Magicians (Syfy)

The-Magicians

Portrayed by Jason Ralph, Stella Maeve, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Arjun Gupta, Hale Appleman & Summer Bishil

The Magicians cast

The Magicians is a very sexy show on the Syfy network about a secret school of magic. Not like Hogwarts. This one is for adults. Imagine if Hogwarts was a college.

The Magicians

In my opinion, The Magicians is a very Bi-sexy show. Not all the characters have come out as Bi but any one of them could. There are seven main characters and I ship them all. In every combination.

Julia and Quentin

I love these guys so much. And they are all so very hot and sexually open because magic and sex are closely related on the show. So if this were a list of Bi-friendly shows, The Magicians would top the list. The way True Blood used to.

The Magicians - Season 1

Syfy is not HBO so it’s not as sexy as True Blood but season one just ended and it ended well. And I can’t wait for season two. Honestly, I’ve already watched season one twice.

————————————————

I’m gonna end this post now but I will leave you with this:

For me it’s not straight OR gay. It’s not man OR woman. It’s not binary.

It’s not binary… but it is Bisexual.

This was fun.

Later,

– Mel

Top Ten (or so) New Sci-Fi Fantasy TV shows (Winter 2016)

Here is a post I wrote a few weeks back about some of the new sci-fi and fantasy shows I have been enjoying this season.

These 6 are my current favorites from recent run new sci-fi fantasy shows (that sentence was better in my head).

The Expanse (SyFy)

The Expanse Logo

One of the best sci-fi shows in a long time. I compare it to Battlestar Galactica without hesitation. Great writing. Great casting. Great performances. Fantastic show. The Expanse is space opera set in the future where humans have colonized the solar system.

The Magicians (SyFy)

The Magicians

Another great show. The Magicians is not the millennial sci-fi drama that it looks like but an interesting and intriguing mix of characters and situations and sex and coolness. I love the cast and the characters and the whole scenario. And the writing. And the writing. And the writing. I’m really enjoying this show. Probably my favorite on this list. The Magicians is based on the novel by Lev Grossman. It is about a school of magic and the students who attend and the ones who didn’t get in but still want to learn magic any way they can. Oh yeah and the cast is freaking gorgeous.

The Magicians cast

I love these guys.

The Shannara Chronicles (MTV)

The-Shannara-Chronicles-Title-Sequence

I didn’t expect much from this adaptation of the Terry Brooks novels but I have been pleasantly surprised. First thing I noticed was that it solves my on-going problem with sword fighting on these kinds of shows when they have these tiny little actresses swinging swords and fighting and it looks laughable because they are all so tiny.

Shannara Cast

Well this time they’re elves so it’s fine that they are hilariously skinny and visually it doesn’t bother me. And I know that seems small and petty but stuff like that takes me right out of shows. But Shannara is also pretty cool. I like the characters a lot and I like the story and the world. It’s not too deep but there’s a mythology and magic and monsters with a past as future twist. The Shannara Chronicles is an enjoyable fantasy adventure.

Lucifer (FOX)

Lucifer

The best thing about Lucifer is Lucifer himself. The main character, based on the comic character created by Neil Gaiman for The Sandman series, really makes the show for me. And it’s easy to like him but as soon as you forget that he’s evil… he’s evil again and it’s kind of jarring. Oh yeah right he’s Lucifer.

Lucifer TV

But it’s a fun show because of it and the best part is that he’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s the devil. He’s proud of it and he’s immortal so it’s not like he’s afraid of anything. Except for himself and what he’s becoming and also his “partner” who was really annoying at first (because she’s always trying to stop Lucifer from being Lucifer and that’s the best part of Lucifer) but she’s grown on me and while he’s an open book, she is the mystery on the show because not only is she immune to his powers. She’s able to hurt him when nothing else can. Looking forward to discovering more about this mythology.

Colony (USA)

Colony Logo

Colony is a great show. From the first episode I was hooked. Good cast. Good world. Great writing. Great directing. Very impressive. One of the best new things on TV. And as they reveal more and more about what happened to the world and the alien occupation it gets better. Colony is about the relationship between the two main characters and it’s brilliant. The show is about Alien invasion and colonization and it mirrors the way the Europeans colonized the sub-continent.

Colony cast

Creating false borders and classes where none existed. Pitting human against human so that they have little time to turn their anger on their overlords all the while introducing a new religion to their children. It’s brilliant. So the husband and wife are on the opposite sides of the smaller conflict (The human resistance and the human authority) but on the same side of the larger conflict (Aliens have taken over the Earth). It’s great. Find it and watch it.

Colony TV

USA has renewed Colony for a second season.

Limitless (CBS)

limitless

Another amazing new show. Limitless is so much fun. Limitless is a continuation of the story from the movie with Bradley Cooper stopping by every once in a while to lend his star power to the proceedings. I love everything about Limitless.

And here is a break in the action where I show you the names of a couple of really good sit-coms. Showing that the format is not dead. There was an obit. I wrote it.

The Grinder (FOX)

Life in Pieces (CBS)

Both shows have great casts and great writing and are creative and funny. And it’s good to know there is still some enjoyment to be had from the half hour comedy.

Now back to our show

These next 4 are the shows that are on the bubble for me but I’m still watching because I want to like them or there is just something about them that I just can’t leave.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (CW)

legends of tomorrow

I want to like Legends but I don’t. I like most of the characters but the ones I can’t stand almost make the show unwatchable. The young black guy is such a bad actor that I have to mute my TV whenever he has a monologue. This isn’t a show with amazing acting to begin with but that guy is incredibly bad at his job.

Legends cast

Also Hawk Girl can barely recite her lines either. I love the rest of the cast but instead of having two or three character-centric episodes they put all of them in every single one. And I’m not liking it. Agents of SHIELD is a superhero group but they don’t have every character in every episode. One gets an A story and another gets a B story while the other nine or so characters continue in a support role until their episodes. Trying to stuff everybody in every episode with two significant scenes a piece is disjointed and distracting. This isn’t what I wanted.

Legends-of-Tomorrow-103

And to top if off it’s a little too cute. Sure they talk as if there is some dire situation and lives are in the balance but everything is so slick and cute that I don’t feel any sense of jeopardy. The Flash is slick & polished but when stuff goes down I feel like everyone is in danger. Legends never makes me feel like any of these people are in any real danger.

Supergirl (CBS)

Supergirl-CBS

I love Supergirl. I love her relationship with her boss and her friends and family and her body. But it suffers from the same thing that is bothering me about Legends. It’s too cute. (Since I wrote this they cranked up the dark parts a bit) There is no sense of jeopardy. Except in her relationships. The relationship stuff is the best part of the show. The monster of the week stuff is too cute and her main adversary this season is so overpowering that it doesn’t even seem rational that this is her big bad. It doesn’t seem fair (It’s gotten better). She should be incredibly worried. But she’s not and it ends up being cute. The relationship stuff. Her family. Her friends. Her job. That’s all amazing and that’s why I keep coming back. (The Martian Manhunter reveal was very good and I’m back on board)

Supergirl-Martian-Manhunter-Hank-Henshaw

But they need to take a page from the old Superman show from way back in the day. The bad guy wasn’t always some equally super, villain. Most of the time it was some small time hood. Something easy but the hero still had to figure it out and work his way through a series of obstacles before knocking him out with one finger. I hope they get it together because the non-superhero stuff is great. (They have and this is old) I love everything else about it.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (CW)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I love the songs. They make me love the show. But it’s starting to be cringe TV. I want to compare my girl to Lucille Ball and her best friend is amazing on the show but at times the whole thing makes me embarrassed to be watching. But then they do a song and I remember why I thought the show was genius. The songs save the show every time. But while I’m waiting for another hysterical song I cringe. I cringe so much I feel like turning it off. I won’t because the songs are just too good. I know this isn’t technically sci-fi but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is fantasy. She talks to ghosts and travels through time (in songs). Whatever. It’s my blog. I can break the rules.

Shadowhunters (FreeForm)

Shadowhunters - New Key Art

I should like Shadowhunters because of the supernatural elements and the pretty cast but the main character’s voice is so annoying and her personality and now after being annoyed by her for this many episodes, her face. She is incredibly whiny and all the worst things possible. I try to stay away from all-the-whiny-kids-who-seem-to-have-little-adult-supervision shows (I like the 100 though. That show is the exception) and the reason I hate those types of shows is they get into these fights about drama and relationships and sappy kids stuff during crunch time. They have no concept of THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DISCUSS YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

And they all sound so spoiled and whiny. Yet they’ve been in wars for most of their lives. How are these little bitches so entitled when they supposedly grew up so hard. I’m sorry this has become a critique of all the millennial sci-fi shows but some of them are decent and I want to like Shadowhunters but the main girl is all the things I hate about the genre all rolled up into one annoyingly whiny-ass white girl.

Shadowhunter Hotties

But for some reason I am still watching. I just don’t know why. This last episode had a pretty intense game-changing reveal, so maybe it will actually get good.

That’s ten.

But as a bonus here are 2 mini-series: one incredibly good and one incredibly bad.

11 22 63 (Hulu)

11 22 63

11 22 63 is one of the stupidest shows I have seen in a long time. It has a decent plot and good actors but the script is so bad it’s laughable. There is no continuity. And I’m not talking about the time travel. I’m talking about basic stuff like forgetting where you are in the story or the placement of objects. Hell they spend the whole time flashing back to conversations that didn’t happen. Conversations created out of convenience but didn’t happen. And it has nothing to do with time travel. It’s just bad writing. And bad directing. And zero continuity.

11 22 63  James Franco

One character tells a story about drowning a kid in the war and in the middle of the story the writers forget that the kids head is under water. So they give him last words. How is he talking his head is under water. “I couldn’t understand him because I didn’t speak German.” No you couldn’t understand him because you were drowning him. What a piece of sloppy shit this show. One of the stupidest things I have seen in a long time.

11 22 63 is stupid

The main character’s life is saved by an inanimate object. I won’t go into it but the object saves his fucking life. In the next scene he throws it away. It is a useful object. An expensive object. But more than that. It had just saved his life. Who made this crap. It’s so stupid. I watched two episodes and that was it for me. I couldn’t stop screaming at the screen. 11 22 63 is garbage. Full-on fucking garbage.

War and Peace (BBC)

war-and-peace

War and Peace is not sci-fi or fantasy but it is amazing. I mean it’s Tolstoy and it’s epic but the actors brought it. And the writers brought it. And the directors brought it. It was so enjoyable. And epic as fuck. I’m hoping it gets recognized come awards season next year because this is the way you do a miniseries, people. Great cast. Great writing. Great costumes. Great.

War and Peace Score Card

You can’t tell the players without a score card (SPOILERS above if you don’t know the story and if you click on the image)

And that’s it…

These were my thoughts on some of the new shows. It’s a little late, I know. So some of these shows have ended but better late than never I always say. (Actually I never say that. I say, “Why are you so late? Did you want this job or not?” I was a real asshole as a boss). But I have a good excuse.

There is so much good on TV right now and so many things coming back soon.

There is not enough time.

Later,

– Mel

Fall TV Supplemental (or Ten More Shows I Forgot To Mention)

I put up a What’s Good with Fall TV shows Mega Post not too long ago but it was hard to post it because I couldn’t stop adding shows to it. Finally I just put the thing up and of course I forgot some shows. So here’s a supplemental to talk about those shows.

I stopped at ten. (It sounded like a nice round number)

Let’s get right to it.

Into the Badlands (AMC)

Into The Badlands

Into The Badlands is a martial arts show in a strange world with barons and factions and no real logic but some of the best fight choreography on TV.

Daniel Wu

I tried to like this show because the fight choreography is so damn good. But nothing else is. The costumes are the most egregious thing. They are so crisp. They look awkward. Attention wardrobe department: If a character owns clothing, they sometimes wear them. Only royalty can have crisp clean clothes each day. Like someone just made them that outfit for that day. Everybody else’s clothes should look lived in. It’s annoying.

Into The Badlands Cast

But also the fashion is awkward. With unnecessary collars and rips. The costumes are terrible. But then again, so is the acting and the writing and the premise. The only good thing about the show are the fights. And honestly the fight scenes are so good that it’s worth watching for the fights. So if they bring this back, I will still watch because the fights are so good. Too bad they didn’t have anything to go with them. I really wanted to like it.

Doctor Who (BBCA)

Doctor Who

Doctor Who took a strange turn this season when the Doctor experienced a crisis of conscience. And started acting silly again. He gives away his sonic screw driver and settles back into being a clown by inventing sonic sunglasses and running away from his problems. He meets a boy in danger who will one day be his greatest enemy and the doctor decides to not save him. Just to run.

Peter Capaldi as The Doctor.

The season saw the end of two of the doctor’s most controversial companions and featured outstanding performances by Peter Capaldi. I can’t wait until next season.

Downton Abbey (PBS)

Downton Abbey

This season was nice and sweet and Downton Abbey-ish but the finale of the series was bittersweet. I’m going to miss these characters. Even though I have absolutely nothing in common with any of them they still felt like family. I really enjoyed the series. And it’s not my usual cup of tea but the characters were very real and the whole thing felt familiar even as it was completely alien to me.

The Expanse (SyFy)

The Expanse

What can I say? I like this show. It has the exact amount of space opera and political intrigue and science fiction goodness that I like. The acting is decent and the good performances sell the premise. It’s always the worst when bad actors make it hard to believe the sci-fi dialogue and it sounds all hokey, like the actors don’t quite believe it.

Thomas Jane in The Expanse

The Expanse is a well-acted and well-written sci-fi drama. I see good things on the horizon as long as they don’t get too ahead of themselves. There’s Mars, Earth, The Belt and possibly a fourth faction and that’s good enough. Let’s get deeper into these groups and their internal dynamics and their relationships.

The Expanse Crew

I have high hopes for this show. I really do. And I really like this crew. These guys rock.

Childhood’s End (SyFy)

Childhoods End

Chapter one of Childhood’s End was freaking phenomenal. I thought I was in for three nights of great entertainment after that. Especially after the reveal at the end of the first act. That was gloriously unexpected and surreal.

But chapter two was significantly worse and disjointed and confused. It never lived up to the first installment. And if it was half as good as the first (and I’m being generous) Chapter three was again half as good as that.

Childhood's End

The series ended with a thud when it started with a bang. So very disappointing. Ruined the whole thing.

Hemlock Grove (Netflix)

Hemlock Grove

Hemlock Grove is one those shows that I don’t talk about much but I really like. It’s weird. So it’s an acquired taste. Another monster mash. With vampires and werewolves and a Frankenstein-like creation. I enjoyed it thoroughly. The actors were hot. The premises were creepy and sometimes scary and very cool. And it’s over now. But it was pretty good. Definitely not for every one. But right up my alley with shows like Penny Dreadful and True Blood. I’m going to miss Hemlock Grove.

Master of None (Netflix)

Master of None

I really liked Master of None. And I’m not just NOT an Aziz Ansari fan. I hate him with a passion (The red hot passion of a thousand suns).  He was the worst thing about Parks & Rec. His stand-up is whiny and douche-y. But I really enjoyed his Netflix show.

Netflix Master of None

The writing reminded me at times of Louie (Louis CK’s show) and the episode that Aziz directs (the one with the two dads) was spectacular. One of the best episodes of a great first season. He’s a very talented man. But the funniest thing about all of this is that, after watching this award worthy and amazing show, that stars him, is written by him and sometimes directed by him, I still hate him. I really really can’t stand him.

Luther (BBCA)

Luther

Luther’s back and I’m pleased. The show is still as suspenseful as ever. I don’t like that they killed off Alice but you know Alice. She won’t stay dead. It’s Alice. Without Ruth Wilson, Luther is not Luther. Don’t get me wrong, Idris Elba is great and he’s still got that huge manly hotness but Ruth Wilson makes the show for me.

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy)

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

This new guy is very funny, likable and good-looking. And I’ve said many times over the last couple of years that Jon was phoning it in by the end. So Trevor has also injected the show with new energy and life and I’m digging it again. Once again The Daily Show is must-see, required viewing. And as is usually the case with a new talk show host, they are shit at the interviews, but Trevor isn’t. Trevor is great at interviews. He’s even better than Colbert ever was.

Which reminds me of the Late Show. I stopped watching The Late Show and I loved The Colbert Report but now that Stephen is being himself, he just seems so fake.

The Knick (Cinemax)

The Knick

Steven Soderbergh continues to make marvelous mini movies for every episode of The Knick and they are fantastic. If the series is over, (It seemed like it ended but Cinemax wants more and so do I) then it went out with one of the most dark and disturbing operating scenes of the series.

Operating Room The Knick

The Knick on Cinemax is known for its unflinching look at early 20th century surgery techniques. It gets in there. It gets way in there. It gets gross. It’s hard to watch but so entertaining. I’m not going to give it away but the last scene is to a level that I had no idea they could reach. It… I screamed at my TV through the entire scene. “Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” and I was talking to the characters. The director. The TV. My eyes. Anyone who would listen. “Please stop doing that.” It was amazing… amazingly disturbing. And something I will not be forgetting any time soon.

The Knick

That’s it for Fall.

Coming Soon (this Winter): Black Sails is back. Also The 100, 12 Monkeys, Banshee, Better Call Saul, Broad City, Colony (I liked the leaked pilot), Legends of Tomorrow (honestly I don’t expect much), Galavant is back (no seriously it’s not as bad as it looks), Game of motherfucking Thrones, Girls (I love that show), Halt & Catch Fire (yay!!!), Hell on Wheels (??), House of Lies, Humans (hell yeah), It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Last Ship, Lucifer (loved the pilot but I bet they retooled it), The Magicians (also loved the pilot), The Man in the High Castle (steady, Mel, steady), Agent Carter (yes, ma’am), Daredevil (I’m out of breath), Masters of Sex, Mozart in the Jungle (TODAY!!!), Mr. Robot (okay now you’re just fucking with me, Winter TV shows), Orange is the New Black, Orphan Black, Penny Dreadful, Person of Interest, Portlandia, Ray Donovan, Sense 8 (okay okay I get it. I need another television), Shameless, The Shannara Chronicles, Silcon Valley, Turn: Washington’s Spies, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Veep, Vikings, The Walking Dead, and the new X-Files.

Plus all the old school shows that go from Fall to Summer.

So yeah. Winter shows kick TV’s ass.

– Mel