Simple Meditation Techniques

This post is just a series of videos (15 in all) about meditation and meditation techniques for beginners (and experts without fragile egos).

I don’t know the teacher’s name (Elizabeth Rose maybe…). But if the way she looks bothers you or how she sounds or her age or those dreadlocks or how dated these videos are bothers you, then you need to get over it. She’s brilliant. She’s concise. And she’s correct. These are the best meditation instruction videos that I have found on the internet to date. This woman really knows what she is talking about.

Listen to her.

If you’re an experienced meditator then consider it a refresher course if you need to.

They’re only like two minutes each and chock full of information. Because like I said, the woman knows what she’s talking about.

And so many people do not. (I’m looking at you Deepak)

So many people make it more complicated than it is.

However, if you’re like me and you want to be better at everything. Everything. From cooking to sleeping to talking to listening to walking to thinking to breathing… just fucking everything, Learn to focus your mind.

Try to meditate for 30 minutes a day.

The talents you can unlock in yourself… the possibilities are endless… literally endless.

But remember this: If someone you know says they meditate but they’re always scatter-brained and can’t make a simple decision, they’re doing it wrong. You tell them I said they’re doing it wrong. You tell them The Dalai Lama says they’re doing it wrong.

Meditation focuses the mind. You should feel energized and alert. Meditation is an activity not a relaxation technique. If you want to relax, take a nap.

But if you want to learn to levitate, read minds or have mind-blowing sex*, start and maintain a meditation practice daily.

(*Your results may vary – Levitation, mind-reading and having incredible sex like Sting are not typical outcomes and require above average concentration and effort)

The Chakra one is my current favorite… I love the color scheme and the visualizations and the way it also serves to align my spine and my meditation posture. I do this one as a way to root myself for insight meditation.

Anyway check them all out. Expert Village fails to put them in the proper order. So, do what I did and jump around from one to another. Clicking on the techniques that might interest you. Here’s an out of order playlist of all 15.

She also does a series of Beginner’s Yoga videos that are equally as accessible and brilliant. And a yoga series for lower back pain.

If anybody knows who this woman is, tell me in the comments. I’d like to send her a thank you note (and a marriage proposal). I did find an Elizabeth Rose who was channeling spirits on some cable show and I usually treat those things with scepticism (and an open mind) but if it is the same woman, I wouldn’t put it past her to have some serious supernatural skills by now. Even if she is just doing it for the money (everybody’s got to eat).

I will leave you with this: In meditation, there is no such thing as an outside distraction. All distraction comes from inside. So when your mind wanders, and everybody’s mind wanders, don’t worry about that. Buddha’s mind wandered. Just bring it back to the object, whatever it is. You can only call it meditation when you bring your mind back. Otherwise it’s just day dreaming.

But when your mind wanders, and you don’t realize it, and then a car horn beeps or a dog barks or somebody coughs or clears their throat, let that serve as a reminder to go back to the object and stop your day dreaming… right then and there. DON’T FINISH THAT THOUGHT just go back.

Because there are no distractions, none at all. Just random reminders to focus from the universe at large. And when you start to see everything outside of you as a gentle (or not so gentle) reminder to get back to the business at hand, meditating for fun and profit, then those little things don’t bother you so much anymore. You welcome them. You welcome them all. Bring the noise.

–  Mel

“What the world needs now is compassion, clarity and equanimity… and a new president.”


To All My Friends (Who’ve Wondered Where I’ve Been)

I know I haven’t been around much lately. Too much anger. Didn’t really want to get it on you. I have a tendency to spew hate when I’m angry. I hate it when the bad guys win… I’ve been experiencing a what-the-fuck few weeks. The American election was hacked and I’m surrounded on all sides by people waiting for their chance to say “I told you so.”

“I told you so.” Among the bodies of the dead.

“I told you so.” Brought to you by the makers of Pepsi and Xanax.

“I told you so.” Translated from the original Russian. (actually, little known fact, it was in German before it was in Russian)

I’ve reached a point in my life where more people are younger than me than older. I’m surrounded on all sides by the children of the damned. Social media misfits more concerned with likes and dislikes. Trolls without bridges. History books unopened. But mouths that will not stay shut.


I haven’t been around much lately because I know me. The thoughts racing through my head should not be shared with anyone. My doctor doesn’t want to know. My lawyer doesn’t want to know. The fake twitter accounts of Russian trolls, who successfully influence the tired liberals into hopelessness and fits of screaming, don’t want to know.

For one misguided instant I considered self-immolation as a form of protest. Nothing else, it seems, can penetrate the walls of the corporate pay-to-play media and so-called social media’s cavernous, echo-amplifying, bottomless pits of ego and frustration. Setting myself on fire in front of some monument to our fallen democracy seemed like a good idea at the time… for like, literally, a second. For like one scary second.

So I’ve been away.

And I apologize. I figure there’s like 25 or 30 people who read my blog. And I love you guys. And I’m going to post some good stuff. Life goes on no matter how dire. I know my friend Alex misses my movie reviews. New shows, some of the best stuff I’ve seen on TV, came and went. Anybody watch Atlanta? That was amazing. Donald Glover is knocking it out of the park on the daily. Speaking of which, my list of the best albums from this year includes more genres than you can shake your rump at. Who knew I’d like Trap Music. OMG I like Trap Music.

Music, Movies, TV, the third chapter of my novel… but politics, fucking politics, pissed me off to such an extent that I couldn’t write but scream. I couldn’t think but scream. I could not talk because all the screaming made me lose my voice.

So I went away. Started meditating again. Got back to temple. Working out. Stopped doing the few remaining vices I’d allowed myself over the past decade. Pizza, Beer, Porn, Masturbation. It’s about time I stopped living like a 13 year boy without adult supervision. I’m gonna be 50 next year. And the US president is going to be Donald J. Tr… I can’t even say it.

The pounds flew off since I stopped eating garbage. It’s amazing how much more money I have in my budget since I stopped drinking. And the energy. The sexual energy. The mental energy. The spiritual energy… it’s through the roof. And now being channeled into less selfish endeavors.


Doing yoga everyday. Getting to the temple at least three times a week. Working on my compassion and my mindfulness and my body. I will require these things to make it through the next few weeks. Let alone the next few years of protests and civil (and uncivil) disobedience. Gotta build my stamina for all the marching and demonstrating. Because, as you know, Donald J. Tr… I still can’t say it.

I’ll never be able to say it.

What is the true nature of reality? We see things as we want them or don’t want them to be. Sometimes a fantasy. And sometimes as our worst fears realized. We label situations and phenomena as good or bad. As helpful or unhelpful. As progress and advancement or… as the… the nightmarish, back-sliding, hateful, racist hell-scape that I can’t seem to wake up from. Somebody please wake me up.


I meditate to find love for the seemingly unlovable. I meditate to find focus amidst the din of unchecked voices (un-fact-checked and un-verified). I meditate to find the me that can help and not just criticize. That can pull his weight and not just pull his dick. That can be a calm in the storm and not just more destruction and distraction.

Because it’s looking more and more like we’re going to have to violently overthrow the US government. And I don’t say that lightly. People are going to die. People are going to die because they’ve lost their healthcare and can’t afford their treatments. Because they’ve lost their government jobs as the agencies that protect us, from emotionless and compassion-less corporations, are shuttered one after another. People are going to die because they’ve lost their minds after too many deployments in some foreign distraction called another war. People are going to die.


And we can’t just sit around waiting for a miracle. Like that one time that one guy resigned from being pope because he realized he was too evil and stuff to be pope so he let the cool guy be pope. We can’t wait for that. We can’t wait for lightning to strike his ostentatiously disgusting jet plane as it floats on a cloud of ego or one of his fucking hotels to collapse under the weight of his hubris. We can’t wait for that. And we can’t sit around watching our neighbors die from treatable diseases or complications from dangerous pregnancies or malnutrition. Fucking malnutrition in the 21st century.

So yeah. We need to violently overthrow the US government… but with love. Out of compassion for our fellow human beings these people have to go… on both sides. I will not be governed by hate. And also I will not be governed by hate. So that really no one has to die for idiotic and preventable reasons.

We’ve been hacked. Our election. Our government. Hacked.

And respectfully, the only course of action, after you’ve been hacked, after they infiltrated your system, installed their malware, their trojans, their porn, the only course of action is to unplug the damn computer, and reinstall the operating system.

I went away.

But I’m back.

I’m going to see Rogue One tomorrow. So I’ll let you guys know how I like it. I’m going to post all my reviews and stuff over the holiday season. There’s a lot. You know I didn’t even realize it was the holidays. This is usually my least favorite time of year (except for the Doctor Who special). Because I’m alone and everything about this time is geared toward family and friends and stuff. But ever since I’ve rediscovered my faith, going to temple and Dharma classes and meditation, I don’t feel so alone.

I feel great actually. This is the best I’ve felt in a long time. The healthiest I’ve been mentally, spiritually and physically. The best.

And to think, I owe it all to the rigged, hacked, fraudulent and fucked up election of Donald J. Tr… you know what, I still can’t say it.

You guys thank him for me.

See ya tomorrow after Rogue One (unless I’m too hyped to post anything but OMG OMG OMG OMG then I’ll post on Saturday after Dharma class)

Now watch this 2 minute video.

– Mel