Sense 8 Christmas Special (god bless us… every one)

So yeah I didn’t know this was happening. It’s like a Christmas miracle.

You guys know how much I loved Sense 8… well

Check this shit out.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMFG

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMFG

It looks like it’s gonna be sappy… but like in a really good way.

I know what I’m doing the week between Christmas and New Years (AKA the year’s taint, AKA the dead zone, AKA the darkest week of the darkest year of the darkest timeline)

Watching This…

then The Doctor Who Christmas Special

And then this again and then Doctor Who again

And then…

– Mel

Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Crimson Peak

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled.

Crimson Peak (Universal Pictures)

crimson-peak-poster

Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Written by Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins

Starring Mia WasikowskaJessica ChastainTom HiddlestonCharlie Hunnam & Jim Beaver

There are so many things wrong with this film, I don’t know where to begin. I know ghost stories are Guillermo’s favorite genre but Crimson Peak is all ghost, no story. It is clumsy but pretty. So pretty in fact that it makes it seem even more clumsily put together. The set; This Haunted House from the title is far more important than the story or the acting or the back story or the directing. It is a beautifully put together full-sized doll house of horrors but it doesn’t belong in this horrible film. It is completely out-of-place.

Crimson Peak Haunted House

The Happiest Place On Earth

Yet Crimson Peak is supposed to be the star, the theme, the location, the something… But instead of writing a house, Guillermo built one. And the movie he put inside it is terrible. Just awful. I’m going to spoil it now.

Verdict: SPOILED

Crimson Peak

“Are you going to spoil us?” “No I’m here to kill you.” “Well that’ll be alright then.”

SPOILER ALERT

First of all, to spoil this movie is no big deal. There isn’t much of a mystery and the plot really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to the characters or to the film-makers apparently. Something about this brother and sister who murdered some people. Their mother and his wives because of the house or because they like fucking each other. I don’t know. It appears on-screen in the form of a story but it isn’t really a story.

It’s the ghost of a story.

Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain in Crimson Peak

“Ghost of a story. That’s quite humorous.” “Yes… Quite.”

Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain have been better. They are chewing the scenery from the first time we see them on-screen. The movie starts away from “the house” in America. The house is in Scotland or something I think. Again it doesn’t matter. There’s a dance. A waltz where a candle stays lit. Which is comical because all that twirling would put out a forest fire or at least a camp fire. And the sister’s hands. Something to do with her hands. And she’s creepy. Honestly who gives a fuck.

Crimson Peak still

“You wound me, sir.”

Then there is the hero but she has no character at all. She’s in love with some guy because he read her story and danced with her. But they go out of their way to present her as that era’s equivalent of the modern woman. But there’s no character there. She’s a writer or something. And she’s female. But that’s as far as they got. She is useless. She starts out as this American fire-brand but is quickly reduced to a victim by the death of her father. I don’t know. Whatever. Get to the house already.

Crimson Peak Jim Beaver Charlie Hunnam

“I’ve had just about enough of this old boy.” “I concur.”

So the house is stupid. The idea of the house is stupid. They live on top of a clay mine. Red clay. The house is falling apart. It has a hole in the roof and leaks red clay all over the place. The faucets. The walls. Really cool looking. Really stupid writing. But it is this gorgeous, I have to use the term Doll House because that’s how it seems, this gorgeous doll house. It’s like Guillermo del Toro built himself a little doll house (a big doll house), a graphically bleeding doll house and then had a ghost story play-date with his friends.

Crimson Peak Ghost

“I’m not dead. I’m just well red. Get it? Well read. Well red… Is this thing on?”

So the plot takes us up and down and around this obnoxiously pretty but annoyingly run-down house and there are ghosts and there are ghosts and there are ghosts. The brother and sister try to kill our hero; the character-less one. Remember her? Well she returns to being self-sufficient just as soon as the plot tells her it’s okay. Of course she had just been thrown off a balcony and landed on her back but she becomes super-human around the same time the sister becomes a ninja. They have a less than epic battle on the tiny sound-stage. It was a big sound-stage but the house takes up most of it and they’re supposed to be outside. So they basically walk around in a tiny circle. The sister kills the brother. Our hero kills the sister. Then I guess she dies anyway of the poison. Oh yeah they’ve been poisoning her the whole time. The end. It’s really stupid.

crimson-peak candelabra

“You forgot about the part where I carry this bad-ass candelabra. It’s spoooooo-oooky isn’t it? Well, ISN’T IT? I give up. There’s just no pleasing you.”

And now I’ve spoiled Crimson Peak for you. The movie is very bad and everybody dies at the end. Use the two hours I’ve saved you wisely, my friends.

– Mel

Five Quick Reviews of Five Movies on DVD (June ’16)

I may not be blogging as much now but that doesn’t mean I’m not watching movies. I’ve seen a few good movies and a bunch of bad ones. Some that don’t deserve to be blogged about and others that deserve their own goddamn posts (those are coming).

So here are five movies I’ve watched recently and a quick review for each (I do my best not to rant). So it’s just like the old days. Remember the old days?

The Situation Room

“My god, he’s gonna do it.” “That magnificent bastard.”

For anyone who doesn’t remember the 5 Quick Reviews format; I give my impressions of each movie in a couple of paragraphs. Short and sweet. I don’t mince words. I do not do a bunch of plot synopses or explanations. It’s mostly just my personal feelings. (And I do mean personal). And there are no spoilers.

Believe it or not this is the way I used to do all my reviews.

I know, right?

To the list

First up…

Gods of Egypt (Summit Entertainment)

Gods of Egypt poster

Directed by Alex Proyas

Written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless

Starring Nikolaj Coster-WaldauBrenton ThwaitesChadwick BosemanÉlodie YungCourtney EatonRufus SewellGerard Butler & Geoffrey Rush

God of Egypt was a hell of a lot better than I thought it would be. It’s a great story based on Egyptian mythology with fantastic effects. Awesome movie… honestly. But oh my god, the acting is so bad.

gods-of-egypt-4

Gods of Egypt has great directing and great writing but… I don’t know… bad casting? Very bad casting. Whitewashing? I agree, somewhat. I’ve always been a fan of integrating the past in fantasy movies. Especially movies so steeped in mythology like this one. And anyway Cheikh Anta Diop has already proven scientifically that the ancient Egyptian rulers were dark-skinned. Darker than me. Darker than pitch. They were black alright. And being the crossroads between Asia, Europe and Africa means that Ancient Egypt was more than probably integrated as fuck. But I’ll stop.

gods of egypt movie

Because this is meant to be a fun fantasy film about mythical monsters and gods and men and it certainly is. So ignore the skin color. Ignore the politics. And for the sake of the gods, ignore the acting, ignore that nearly all the extras (except in close-ups) and most of the main cast are white people, and just enjoy the damn movie.

Gods Of Egypt

But having said that, I must also add (because if I don’t I’ll kick myself later) that centuries of European dominance has whitewashed ancient history and religion in many ways. Early images of Jesus and Mary picture them as dark-skinned. The destruction of the Sphinx’s face to hide African features etc etc.

gods-of-egypt-00

And as a response to this retroactive racist whitewashing we should (as artists) integrate the past as thoroughly as possible in movies and books and TV and comics as often as we can. There is no historical truth anymore. So let’s just bury them in a beautifully rainbow-colored reality of racially inclusive certainty and take back the past to undo this petty petty petty crime against history. Because like I’ve told you people before; History isn’t written by scholars. It’s written by novelists.

ENOUGH

“ENOUGH!”

What was I doing? Oh yeah reviewing a movie. Gods of Egypt is a damn good science fiction-fantasy movie that entertains and defies expectation.

Rent it

Next up…

The Danish Girl (Focus FeaturesUniversal Pictures)

the danish girl poster

Directed by Tom Hooper

Written by Lucinda Coxon  Based on The Danish Girl  by David Ebershoff

Starring Eddie RedmayneAlicia VikanderMatthias SchoenaertsBen WhishawSebastian Koch & Amber Heard

The Danish Girl features two great performances. Eddie Redmayne, who is phenomenal in everything. And Alicia Vikander, who brings it. And I just wanted to bring it to her.

The Danish Girl Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander

Vikanda plays Gerde Wegener. She is amazing. I loved her character so much. Such an amazing woman. An artist. A painter. Extraordinary woman in any era. I was crushed right along with her and laughed along with her and cried along with her. And for most of the movie I just felt like giving her the D. I’m so sorry.

Alicia Vikander as Gerde Wegener in The Danish Girl

I don’t mean that as a slight to her husband turned stranger. But I was in love with the character and I felt she needed the D. Am I being crass? Possibly. But it struck me so strongly. I wanted to fuck her character so terribly. I know this isn’t much of a review. But Alicia Vikander makes the movie hum. She is amazing and well-deserved the Oscar win. Fantastic. And absolutely the kind of woman (I mean character) I fall in love with. But we’re talking about my lust for the character right now. Gerde Wegener.

Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl

Einar Wegener, her husband, was a pioneer. And the movie softens her history and the historical facts of her surgery. I’m going to use “her” because she was one of the earliest, and perhaps the first to transition through surgery (the dates are fuzzy) becoming Lili Eibe and no longer Gerde’s husband but a stranger. It is a tragic love story.

Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vikander in The Danish Girl

And that is the best thing about The Danish Girl; it’s not a biopic about one of the first transgender women but a love story. A love triangle between two people. I’m sorry. It was tragic. But all I could think was how much I wanted to walk onto the screen, take Gerde by the hand and bring her to America with me. And that laugh… She laughs this laugh at a critical point in the movie and it makes the entire film. She is the best.

Alicia Vikander my love

I am a huge Alicia Vikander fan now. Huge.

Rent it

Next up…

London Has Fallen (Focus FeaturesGramercy Pictures)

london has fallen poster

Directed by Babak Najafi

Written by Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt, Christian Gudegast and Chad St. John

Starring Gerard ButlerAaron EckhartMorgan FreemanAlon Moni AboutboulAngela BassettRobert ForsterJackie Earle HaleyMelissa Leo & Radha Mitchell

London Has Fallen? More like London has no police, no security and no fucking people. This is the most unrealistic piece of shit I have seen in a long time. A fucking war breaks out in the middle of London and there is absolutely no police.

London Has Fallen into disrepair

So they order the civilians to stay in their homes and they just do it. Like that would happen. There are no cops to enforce the curfew. No armed forces. The streets are just desolate. It’s eerily unbelievable.

London Has been abandoned

There’s an aerial combat sequence over one of the largest cities in the world and there are no other aircraft in the air. There’s this one stupid part where we’re supposed to believe that a drone follows the president where ever he goes in the world. Well then the fucking drone knows where he is. And the bad guys searching for him just have to look up.

London Has Fallen into a funk

Bullets flying. Cars whizzing by. Guys in body armor with automatic weapons and zero police. Zero civilians. Zero probability. Zero chance of liking this crap.

Gerard Butler in London Has Fallen off the list of the most populated cities

Oh dear gods of Egypt, what a stupid fucking movie London Has Fallen is

Skip it.

Next…

Whisky Tango Foxtrot (Paramount Pictures)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot poster

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa

Written by Robert Carlock  Based on The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan by Kim Barker

StarringTina FeyMargot RobbieMartin FreemanAlfred MolinaChristopher Abbott & Billy Bob Thornton

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot works better as a book I think. And besides the fact that Tina Fey is the lead, I don’t consider it a comedy. It is an interesting story. Amazing cast. I am a huge Tina Fey fan. But the bad pacing and directing make it boring as shit.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

The story is this incredible tale of a pair of competing news embeds with the American armed forces stationed in Afghanistan during the early days of the war. When the Iraq war was stealing all the headlines. Two women, two pros in a country where women are props or property. Two women surrounded by young male soldiers. Two women who form a friendship while maintaining a professional rivalry. Sounds cool. But somehow they made it into a boring movie. Boring as hell.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot Tina Fey and Margot Robbie

It fails miserably when it tries to be funny. It comes off as down right wacky. The movie works better at the times when it’s being serious. But then suddenly a silly character appears and the movie loses its way. It loses its narrative focus and its atmosphere of war and danger. And the tension dissipates. Choose a side why don’t you. I say stick with the drama. This movie would be a great drama that just happens to be funny at times.

Tina Fey in Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

I think the film-makers were trying to emulate M.A.S.H. and the way that movie becomes silly at times while still keeping a firm hold on the tension. Attention Film-Makers: Robert Altman is an actual fucking genius. Do not try to copy him. Or try to be like him. You don’t even speak his language. Just enjoy him.

Margot Robbie in Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

“You enjoy him.”

These folks are not Robert Altman. The minor characters come off as silly and out-of-place. The comedy scenes ruin an otherwise interesting film. Without the comedy, the slow pacing becomes tension. With the comedy, it becomes large lulls of boring. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is a wonderful story. So please pick up the book. And it includes a fine cast of funny actors, but the bad directing and pacing and the screenwriting make it barely watchable. And just plain boring.

Skip it.

And lastly…

Midnight Special (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Midnight Special poster

Written & Directed by Jeff Nichols

Starring Michael ShannonJoel EdgertonKirsten DunstAdam DriverJaeden Lieberher & Sam Shepard

Speaking of boring… Midnight Special is also boring. It trods along to the beat of it’s not so special gradually unfolding mystery. There is no character development. There is no real sense of jeopardy, action, or even fantasy.

Midnight Special

And anyway, I think I liked this movie better when it was called Starman and John Carpenter directed it. Jeff Bridges and Karen Allen starred in it. And I had just graduated from High School. (I know me graduating has nothing to do with it but I just wanted to mention it… I peaked in High School. But anyway) The boy’s got powers. The government is after him. People either want to worship him or exploit him. And his family just want to help him fulfill his purpose. Whatever the fuck that is.

midnight-special-kirsten-dunst

I’ll admit the reveal is pretty cool and it’s trippy, but it is not worth the hour and a half to two hours spent running around doing absolutely nothing like chickens with their heads cut off. Nor is it explained well enough to leave the audience thinking about it while the credits roll. Hell I think I’ve forgotten it already.

midnight-special

I love Kirsten Dunst. She’s good in the movie. (So is Adam Driver) And I’ve been a fan of hers for a while. And I’m fairly certain she will get an Oscar one day. But all the while I was watching this film I was thinking. You know who would fit well into this movie? Brit Marling that’s who. It feels like a Brit Marling movie. A little sci-fi. A little religious imagery. A lot of mystery. A less than mind-blowing reveal. And in the end a movie that thinks it’s deeper than it actually turns out to be.

midnight_special Kirsten Dunst

Midnight Special is not very good. (Oh shit. I should have said not very special. Damn)

Skip it.

So to recap…

There were two Sci-fi Adventures about a character with powers and the humans trying to help him fulfill his destiny: Gods of Egypt and  Midnight Special. One of them fun and exciting with extremely bad acting. The other bland and boring with extremely good acting.

There were two War Thrillers about Americans overseas trying to survive the violence of war: London Has Fallen and Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. One of them fast-paced and exciting with no basis in reality and bad acting. The other slow-paced and boring, based on a true story with good acting. Neither one very enjoyable.

And there was a Period Drama about an epic romance that turns into a love triangle without ever adding a third person. The Danish Girl. And I don’t have to tell you guys, even though I have nothing against his decision to transition, I’m with her.

I am completely and totally with her. (You guys know what I mean)

More to come.

– Mel

Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Hail, Caesar!

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled.

Hail, Caesar! (Universal Pictures)

Hail, Caesar poster

Written, Produced & Directed by Joel & Ethan Coen

Starring Josh BrolinGeorge ClooneyAlden EhrenreichRalph FiennesJonah HillScarlett JohanssonFrances McDormandTilda Swinton & Channing Tatum

High concept. Hail, Caesar! is an exquisite work of art. But is it enjoyable? It’s very cool. Hail, Caesar! is starkly distant and cold. Visually stunning. It’s breathtaking. The plot is below average. It’s adorably cliché. Yet over the top because of its modern film-making and modern hind-sight. I practically busted a gut just from those beautiful and artful touches of pure unadulterated genius. The Coen Brothers are the best. A love song to Old Hollywood. It’s brilliant. But I only barely enjoyed it. Hail, Caesar! is a museum piece. Something you view through glass. Something you read about on the plaque attached. Something that makes you feel the way the experts tell you you’re supposed to feel. This one is for the laughs. The plaque reads. “Hey! It’s technically very funny.” That’s how I read it. Surprised and interested but in a deadpan delivery from out of an old 30’s Hollywood feature. The technique is funny but frigid. So, mind you, I’m personally reading that plaque from the cold hard floor of that proverbial museum laughing my fucking ass off. So… I guess I liked it. Sort of…

Verdict: SPARED

Clooney and Brolin in Hail, Caesar

“Is Mel shitting me with this dichotomy nonsense?” “I don’t know. Are you a violent caricature of a man, yet still very sexy?” ” Yes. Yes I am.” “Then I think you have your answer.”

Philosophically speaking this is a very smart movie. Extremely well-written. It opens the cliché of the old Hollywood system with writing that is drenched in realism but with a plot that is assembly line basic die-cast plastic like it came in a box from a hobby shop. But its supposed to be like that. The juxtaposition makes it hysterical. The dialogue is a seamless mix of dime store detective fecal matter and the brilliance of collected human thought. Stitched together so professionally that the political, religious and economic concepts sound pedestrian and the gum shoe banter sounds like it comes with a PHD in philosophy. And this painstakingly crafted concept shouts, “Hey! it’s technically very funny.”

Hail, Caesar

We have your movie plot. If you want to follow it you can but it really doesn’t matter that much what it is. The movie would still be a classic.

Visually speaking this a gorgeous movie but again the lofty concept smacks you in the eye holes. I mean it makes them weep with joy at how freaking beautiful this films is. The look and feel are all part of that wonderful joke. The old-timey movie scenes made with superhero movie special effects subtleties. The use of visual effects in Hail, Caesar! almost suffocated me. I was laughing so hard. It’s so fucking funny. But it’s also so beautiful that it demands to be taken seriously. I mean it slaps you right across the face and yells, “Take me seriously.” Like one of those old Hollywood b-movie slaps that a fella gives a dame when she’s acting squirrelly. Don’t laugh. It’s a dated and phenomenal work of art and “Hey! it’s technically very funny.”

Hail Caesar still

“I’m sensing a theme here.”

Professionally speaking the acting goes right along with this wonderful dichotomy. With the added bonus of having actors playing actors. George Clooney is just decent in the movie. He plays his character well. I suppose. He always does. But the actor he plays in the movie is doing Oscar level work in the movies within the movie. It hurt my head. The character is a great actor. The actor playing the actor is removed from this by playing the character just average but acting the hell out of his acting scenes. It’s brilliant. It’s, again, technically very funny. But what am I laughing at really? The movie’s one joke. The musical numbers are fantasy sequences without the fantasy elements. The stunts and dances are the equivalent of superpowers minus the super and the powers. Each one played for this beautiful unrealistic realism. But before I make this orbital station of a concept seem even colder than it actually is. I need to say it again. “Hey! (and say it with me people) it’s technically very funny.”

Scarlett Johanson in Hail, Caesar

“You funny? I guess we funny too.”

Literally speaking (actually I’m writing) I know I haven’t mentioned the plot. There’s a plot. It’s movie worthy. It fits the barest definition of generic Hollywood movie plot. And by that I mean a movie about Hollywood and also an Old Hollywood style movie. Concept overpowers narrative so that in the end we’re left with the blatantly unapologetic definition of phoning it in. Enough to make you question whether or not to call it writing. It’s more like assemblage. But the concept tells its own story. And it’s wonderful. It makes statements about history and integrity. It paints with nostalgia and science. Religion and philosophy. It tells the story of humanity and culture. And laughs at our distortion of our past and the past within our past. It’s as much phoning it in as Neil Armstrong’s famous words were phoned into NASA. Yeah. They literally were. so Hail, Caesar! is an old rotary phone that gets high-speed internet access. And before I put you to sleep with my customary I-just-saw-a-great-movie pretentiousness. We’re gonna go back to the chorus.

Hail, Caesar!

“Hey! It’s technically very funny.”

Artistically speaking Hail, Caesar! is an exquisite work of art. It’s not a good movie. But it’s technically perfect. It’s like the stickiest time-travel paradox. I don’t know how to put it succinctly in a blog format. I’m having a hard time finding the words. You know the Yin & Yang symbol? How the two halves are joined yet separate? However people familiar with the symbol will know that they are not so separate after all because the most important part (to me at least) was always the eyes of each. The good within the bad and the bad within the good. So I think the problem I’m having is which one is on the outside. Which quality defines the whole? Is it a good movie made to look, sound and feel like it’s not and really is at the same time? Or a bad movie extremely well-made in a bad way? Only time will tell. History will be the true judge.

Josh Brolin in Hail, Caesar

“You know what? He’s right. It IS technically very funny. Very funny indeed.”

Historians will note that Mel Rook (from Mel Rook & the Seven Deadly Sins) settles the question when he writes these words (back in the year 2016):

Hail, Caesar! makes you do too much work just to be able to like it. But at the same time it’s well worth the effort and one of the best things The Coen Brothers have ever done.”

Nope. That’s not it either.

Damn.

– Mel

Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Steve Jobs

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled.

Steve Jobs (Universal Pictures)

Steve Jobs Poster

Directed by Danny Boyle

Written by Aaron Sorkin  Based on Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

Starring Michael FassbenderKate WinsletSeth RogenJeff DanielsKatherine Waterston & Michael Stuhlbarg

Steve Jobs is just an okay movie. A fantastic script. Oh my god what a great script. It was almost like watching a stage play. The way it basically captures the same moment three separate times in the life of Steve Jobs. It is so unbelievably cool. But as a movie. As a work of cinema, I was underwhelmed. Director Danny Boyle is hit or miss. He has directed a few of my favorite films and I like him because he doesn’t have a genre. He can do it all. But in Steve Jobs he fails to get out-of-the-way of Aaron Sorkin’s great script. He tries to do more than he needs to. He had an amazing cast and an amazing script and there was no need for the cute little touches and clumsy attempts at film artistry. You can’t really spoil a bio-pic but still…

Verdict: SPOILED

Jobs the Manipulator

SPOILER ALERT

Steve Jobs is the story of three major tech projects in the man’s life. Two failures and one incredible success. Each act takes place moments before Steve Jobs is to walk out on a stage and present his vision to an audience of rabid fans. He was not an engineer or a coder or a business person. But the people who loved him and credited him with other’s work thought he was a god. What he was is a father, a showman and really every bit of an asshole. Not the most likable guy at all.

Jobs the Asshole

In each act, Steve Jobs has an interaction with those three actual people in his life: the coder, the engineer, the business person and those three aspects of himself: the father, the showman and the asshole. This is a sensational script. Aaron Sorkin has long been one of my writing aspirations. A level of cinematic realism and cool dialogue that I would have loved to have been able to match. The dialogue is perfect. The characters are dynamic and real and known within seconds of them walking on-screen. You know these people instantly. And all the relationships are heart-breaking. Truly an amazing screenplay.

Steve Jobs Cast

The three products featured aren’t Steves greatest works but represent pivotal moments in the innovators life. Two major failures and one incredible success. But the products take a backseat in the film. A backseat to the broken relationships that fuel their creation. They are just a platform for an operating system. A system that uses and abuses people to get their best. All cpu. No heart. Our hero, Steve Jobs, does not emerge from this beautifully written bio-pic as anything other than a master manipulator, out and out thief, horrible father and sometime genius.

Jobs the Father

Michael Fassbender is amazing (as always) as Steve Jobs. He disappears into every role he plays. Which is difficult because the man is gorgeous. I have a huge crush on Michael Fassbender. I think I’ve loved him in every thing I’ve seen him in. He’s even good in bad movies. He is one talented and beautiful man. In this, he plays Steve Jobs as someone who recognizes emotions in himself and in others but seems to despise them as a waste of his valuable time. Make no mistake, Steve Jobs is not the hero of his own movie… just a subject. Just a cold and mechanically calculating subject.

Jobs the Genius

But Danny Boyle, who has directed some of my favorite films, is too stylized here. His music choices and other creative choices scream “Look at me! I’m directing!” Steve Jobs is a fantastic script that all he really had to do was shoot as is. But he doesn’t do that. He wants you to see him directing. This script would make an incredible stage drama. This movie would make an incredible radio drama. And yes it even would have made an incredible movie. But the director seems too enamored with his own additions to it. And he damn near ruins it all with awful creative choices. It’s maddening. Because the man knows what he’s doing but here it’s like he’s forgotten. And again this is the director of at least five of my favorite hundred films of all-time. I love Danny Boyle. What happens here is Danny Boyle takes a large steaming dump on a really good movie idea.

Jobs the Maniac

Steve Jobs, the movie, is a great story and a great script with a great cast that is helmed by a great director. A director who takes these fantastic elements and turns them into a mediocre, maybe even bad, movie. Either because he was trying to compete with the screenwriter’s amazing artistry or… I don’t know… maybe he was trying to sabotage the thing. I really don’t know. It makes no sense. The weird choices he makes make absolutely no sense. And seem to serve only to annoy. What a waste.

– Mel