Top Ten Bisexual TV Characters ALL NEW 2016 (Mega Post)

I haven’t done one of these in a while. And I’m sorry.

Anne Bonny Fuck You


I think pointing out Bisexual TV characters is important because it is so easy for a writer to erase a character’s bisexuality by making them confused or insane or they’ve just been gay the whole time and in denial or in the closet or they’ve just been straight the whole time and undercover or whatever. The goddamn character is bisexual. Stop trying to take it back. It’s so annoying. Have some guts.

"I don't know what he's talking about." "He's talking about us."

“I don’t even know what he’s talking about.” “He’s talking about us, sweetie.”

I lived in a sexually binary world. Gender was always one thing or the other to me. And I understand that people are allowed to define themselves in any way they choose. But before we get bogged down in what you would like yourself to be called, once upon a time there were two genders. Scientifically and naturally. Bisexuality was a sexual attraction to both. It encompassed everyone. Male and female meant everyone. I realize that’s not true anymore and in fact it never was true.

Lucifer Morningstar

“Congratulations. You may fuck me now.”

We realized that sexuality was a spectrum. And that gender was a spectrum. And there were more genders than stars in the sky. And Bisexuality became an archaic term before it was ever universally accepted (to my liking). I’ve called myself Bisexual for decades (all my life) and now it’s become a bone of contention in a community that always seemed to be trying to erase us, or deny us, to begin with. Because of a myriad of gender identities, Bisexuality is almost an insult or at least a misnomer. But the only truly accurate moniker for anyone’s sexuality is to put that person’s full name in front of the suffix “sexual” and just leave it at that.

Shannara Chronicles

“Woah. That’s so deep.”

Bisexuality means you can be attracted to the masculine and to the feminine and to all points in between. But really it’s about the gender being less important than the person. So yeah, Bi can mean two. And by definition it would seem to be stating that there are only two genders. And we know that’s not true. But by the same token, Hetero means different. And as long as you are attracted to someone whose gender identity is not the same as your own then you are technically Heterosexual. And we know that’s not always true. It’s not an accurate translation. Neither is Transsexual. It is the term that we use. It is not an insult or a reduction or an erasure. It is just the word that we use.

Sara Lance isn't Lesbian she's Bi

So here when I say a character is Bisexual, I mean at some point in the show they were dating, fucking or stating an attraction to a man, and to a woman at one point. It is as simple as that. And I know that it isn’t always as simple as that. But in a quest for individuality, we’ve made things less inclusive and maybe even less accepting. When I can look at a list of the hundreds of words used to define gender identity and sexual identity and check off forty or fifty of them that apply to me and not feel unique but just feel alone, there’s something wrong with this system. While what is more accurate is the less defined fact that I am attracted to people. I find male parts attractive. I find female parts attractive. But I find hearts and minds even more so. I belong to that group. That all-inclusive, hugely accepting group that thinks human beings are sexy. My generation called them Bisexual, called us Bisexual… And you know what? I still like the name.

Riley on New Girl


Here are ten Bisexual TV characters that I did not mention in the previous lists. Here, and the other one; Here. Because they are brand spanking new.

As always the rules are:

1. I have to like the show they’re on.

2. I have to find them attractive, sexy etc.


3. They have to be arguably Bisexual on the show.

And if you don’t know what I mean by Bisexual then you must have skipped the previous five paragraphs (I don’t blame you).

SPOILERS ALERT: There will be minor sexual spoilers throughout. Nothing big. But if I’m going to call the character bisexual then I have to explain the context by which I give them that label. It’s not always black and white.

Empire Season 2  Episode 9

“…and IIII will tryyyy to fix you.” “Please don’t.”

To the list…

Number 10.

Darryl Whitefeather (The Boss) from Crazy Ex Girlfriend (CW)

Darryl and White Josh

Portrayed by Pete Gardner

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical comedy that is among my favorite new shows but the way they handled this character’s coming out story was damn near perfect. He kisses a boy and he likes it after being married to a woman for years and after his divorce. And he is confused for a couple of days then at a yoga class he is glancing back and forth from a man’s tight ass to a woman’s and he goes back and forth and back and forth until finally realizing. “Wait a minute… I’m Bisexual.”

Darryl Whitefeather Bisexual Man

The character is cute but the way they handle his self-discovery, and the way the character handles it, puts him on this list. It was just perfect. And of course there was a funny song to go with it.

Number 9.

Elijah Krantz (The Gay Best Friend) from Girls (HBO)

Elijah Krantz

Portrayed by Andrew Rannells

Before people get up in arms, Elijah is a perfect example of a character who defines himself as gay but is also (somewhat) attracted to women. At one point he claims that he may not be 100% gay but a little Bisexual… and he’s cute, so he made the list.

Elijah and Marnie on the couch

And HBO’s Girls is still one of the funniest and cringe-worthy comedies on TV.

Number 8.

Eretria (The Thief) from The Shannara Chronicles (MTV)


Portrayed by Ivana Baquero

This little hottie is a human raised by a band of roving thieves. She is hot, sexy, cunning. She has relations with men, women, elves and half elves and did I mention that she’s hot?

Eretria and Wil

The Shannara Chronicles has been renewed for a second season and I’m pleased. I like the show. I like the world. I like the cast. And I want them to live up to their potential.

Eretria and Amberle

I also want to see more of this Bisexual character putting moves on the Elven-folk.

Number 7.

Lucifer Morningstar (The Devil) from Lucifer (FOX)

Lucifer FOX

Portrayed by Tom Ellis

Lucifer likes sex. He has sex with lots of women and… lots of men. He has orgies and three-ways and he’s very hot. He’s the best thing about the show Lucifer.

Lucifer Threeway

I guess he’s not really Bisexual. He’s just the devil and the devil likes to fuck but… He’s still very very hot. I really like this show.

Number 6.

White Canary – Sara Lance (The Assassin) from DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (CW)

Sara Lance

Portrayed by Caity Lotz

I, absent-mindedly, left Ms. Lance off my previous list before her character was killed on Arrow but she’s back. (Ooh Spoiler Alert) She’s still hot and she still qualifies for the list.

Sara and Talia

She dated Oliver Queen and then she dated Talia Al Ghul (Ras Al Ghul’s daughter) on Arrow. She continues breaking hearts on Legends. Legends isn’t the best but some of the characters from Flash and from Arrow are still fun to watch. Especially Sara.

Number 5.

Amos Burton (The Engineer) from The Expanse (Syfy)


Portrayed by Wes Chatham

Amos Burton is one of the great characters from the sensational Syfy show The Expanse. We learn more and more about him as the season progresses and we learn a little about his sexuality. It is my belief that he’s a Bisexual character. The clues are there. Plus he’s hot. He’s very hot. I’ve never read the books but I’m pretty sure the character is Bi. I could be wrong. It could just be wishful thinking.

Amos Burton The Expanse

But I’m still very sure the character is hot.

Number 4.

Riley (The New Girl) from New Girl (FOX)

Megan Fox as Riley on New Girl

Portrayed by Megan Fox

This woman, who was barely on the show, is this high on the list because she is played by a Bisexual actor (which is always a plus) and it’s Megan Fox and she’s so cool and she’s smoking hot. But the character herself is awesome even if she was only around for a few episodes. She was a force of nature.

New Girl renewed for season 6 with Megan Fox set to return

Riley represented a very positive portrayal of a Bisexual woman. And she was fun and funny. And I kind of miss her. She will be back I hear. But really they should give her a spin-off. FOX we want a New Girl spin-off starring Riley.

Megan Fox on New Girl

Don’t listen to her. Just make it happen.

Number 3.

Anne Bonny (The Pirate) from Black Sails (Starz)

Anne Bonny

Portrayed by Clara Paget

Black Sails is one of the best shows on television. The character of Anne Bonny is under-used but she’s a bad-ass and she’s gorgeous. Played by British model Clara Paget, she discovers her Bisexuality during the series and has a complicated relationship with her longtime male partner, Jack Rackham and her female love interest (I can’t think of her character’s name now but honestly she’s the worse thing about the show. Her acting and her accent are horrible).

Anne Bonny and Jack Rackham

Anne Bonny is a historical figure as well as Jack Rackham and their partner Mary Read. Anne was a pirate and she was a wife and she was a mom. And she was a bad-ass.

Black Sails

Her sexual exploits are not recorded. The writers of Black Sails have just spiced her story up a bit. But as a female pirate,  I’m sure there were rumors.

Number 2.

Jamal Lyon (The Songwriter) from Empire (FOX)

Jamal Lyon

Portrayed by Jussie Smollett

This is like spotting a rare species of flightless bird. The Bisexual Black Male Character. Even as the writers try their best to take it back. I bet they got letters.

Jamal on Empire

The beautiful Jamal Lyon shines through their horrible attempts to erase his Bisexuality. The character is Bi and I wish they would let him just be Bi. Because he’s fucking gorgeous and he makes a wonderful addition to this list.

Jamal Lyon and Alisha Keys

He’s a songwriter and a musician and his family doesn’t approves of his lifestyle. (someone’s been reading my e-mails) He’s a fantastic character. If only the writers would stop fucking with his sexual identity and have some guts. I’m looking at you, Danny.

Number 1.

Clarke Griffin (Wanheda) from The 100 (CW)

Clarke Griffin The 100

Portrayed by Eliza Taylor

Who didn’t see this one coming. Clarke is the most bad-ass character on a show full of bad-asses. A beautifully Bisexual character with no apologies and no explanations. She’s with a guy. She’s with a girl. She’s very passionate. She’s very cool. And she is forever doomed. I love the character and I love the show.

The 100 Clarke and Finn

Recently she had another relationship… um disaster and the internet got all mad about it. But I’m like, how could you not know that was going to happen. My girl leaves destruction in her wake. Her body count is greater than anyone else’s on the show… by a lot.

Clarke and Lexa

Any relationship she gets into is doomed, man or woman. The name they gave her, Wanheda means Commander of the Dead. Deal with it internet.

The 100 Clarke and Lexa

Oh my god. The Feeeeeeeeeeeels !!!

And that’s my Sexy Bisexual TV Characters Top Ten list for 2016.

But wait. There’s more. Clarke Griffin might be number one on this year’s list but the true number one is an entire show. The Winner for Top Bisexual TV Character is..

The Magicians (The Magicians) from The Magicians (Syfy)


Portrayed by Jason Ralph, Stella Maeve, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Arjun Gupta, Hale Appleman & Summer Bishil

The Magicians cast

The Magicians is a very sexy show on the Syfy network about a secret school of magic. Not like Hogwarts. This one is for adults. Imagine if Hogwarts was a college.

The Magicians

In my opinion, The Magicians is a very Bi-sexy show. Not all the characters have come out as Bi but any one of them could. There are seven main characters and I ship them all. In every combination.

Julia and Quentin

I love these guys so much. And they are all so very hot and sexually open because magic and sex are closely related on the show. So if this were a list of Bi-friendly shows, The Magicians would top the list. The way True Blood used to.

The Magicians - Season 1

Syfy is not HBO so it’s not as sexy as True Blood but season one just ended and it ended well. And I can’t wait for season two. Honestly, I’ve already watched season one twice.


I’m gonna end this post now but I will leave you with this:

For me it’s not straight OR gay. It’s not man OR woman. It’s not binary.

It’s not binary… but it is Bisexual.

This was fun.


– Mel


Top Ten Bisexual TV Characters (2015 Edition)

One of my most popular posts from last year was my list of my favorite bisexual TV characters. (And I know it’s mostly because I included sexy pictures of those characters getting busy). However in 2014 there was an influx of clever and well-written bi characters on some really good shows. Some of them were even the lead. Not every one was the bad guy. Not every one was a cheater. Those seem to be the go-to clichés when it comes to bisexual characters. But there were some fairly well-written bisexual characters in 2014. My list would require an update.

Josh Hartnett

The rules are the same as last time:

a) The character’s bisexuality has to be strongly implied or actually shown. (Fantasies included) So if they’re dating someone of the same-sex and then later they’re dating someone of the opposite sex or vice-versa then I label them as Bi.

Bo Dennis and Lauren

b) The character must be on a good show (a show I like). And it must be current. (last time out I did a “best ever” list but since there are more Bi characters now than at any time in TV history, let’s just keep it current)

Nolan and his boyfriend

c) The actor or the character must be sexy. (Or at least I have think they’re sexy)

SPOILERS ALERT: There will be minor sexual spoilers throughout. Nothing big. But if I’m going to call the character bisexual then I have to explain the context by which I give them that label. It’s not always black and white.

BarbaraTo the list…

The first one is a bit controversial. I know it’s a kids show. But if you saw how this last season ended then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Number 10.

Korra (The Avatar) from Avatar: The Legend of Korra (Nickelodeon)

Korra and Asami

Voiced by Janet Varney

Korra is a bad-ass. And before you tell me cartoons can’t be sexy. Yes they can. Korra dated Mako early in the series but ends the series with Asami. It took me by surprise but it was a very cool twist.

Mako and KorraDon’t fight me on this one. Watch that last sequence again. It is wholly implied that they are together. That makes Korra bisexual. That makes her a kick-ass cartoon bisexual.

Number 9.

Cynthia (The Cellist) from Mozart in the Jungle (Amazon Prime)


Portrayed by Saffron Burrows

Cynthia is one of the main characters from the fantastic musical comedy drama series from Amazon Prime; Mozart in the Jungle. Throughout the series there’s much sexual tension between her and the other female lead but earlier in the first season during a fantasy sequence she admits to liking dating male musicians that let her bring other women into bed with them.

Saffron Burrows

She’s very sexy (Saffron Burrows is hot) and she’s bisexual. It’s more than just implied.

Number 8.

Barbara Kean (The Spoiled Rich Girlfriend) from Gotham (FOX)

Barbara Kean

Portrayed by Erin Richards

Barbara Kean is the on again off again girlfriend of James Gordon. She has a relationship with a female cop and then she has a relationship with a male cop (I think she likes cops) and then she goes back to the first woman.

Barbara - Gotham

So she’s not the most faithful person. But I get the impression that she’s not just a little spoiled but a lot spoiled. However she is sexy as all hell. So she goes on the list.

Number 7.

Ethan Chandler (The Gunfighter) from Penny Dreadful (Showtime)

Ethan Chandler

Portrayed by Josh Hartnett

Ethan Chandler, from the very entertaining Penny Dreadful, is a gunfighter and a woman’s man who also has a night of passion with the wickedly sinful Dorian Grey.

Ethan Chandler and Dorian Gray

Dorian is another bisexual on the show. So there are actually two sexy male bisexual characters on the show. But it is my personal opinion that Josh Hartnett is a bit hotter.

Number 6.

Frank Underwood (The Politician) from House of Cards (Netflix)

Frank Underwood

Portrayed by  Kevin Spacey

Frank Underwood is devilishly evil and manipulative, but Kevin Spacey makes him sexy. House of Cards is a sexy political thriller.

Frank loves Zoe

Frank cheats on his wife (the beautiful Robin Wright), Has three-ways with his wife and his bodyguard and has had a college fling with another man. He’s bisexual. He’s hot. But I wouldn’t turn my back on him if I were you.

Number 5.

Sid (The best-friend) from Transparent (Amazon Prime)

Carrie Brownstein in Transparent

Portrayed by Carrie Brownstein

The sensational Transparent has no shortage of LGBT characters. There is at least one character from every color of the LGBT rainbow but I am already in love with Carrie Brownstein. (She’s one of my favorite people and openly Bi in RL)

Carrie Brownstein

Her character, Sid, is in love with one character and sleeping with another (one male one female). I won’t give it away. If you haven’t seen Transparent, it is as good as they say (more on that in my next post)

Number 4.

Nolan Ross (The Hacker) from Revenge (ABC)

Emily (Amanda) and Nolan

Portrayed by Gabriel Mann

I have made no secret of the fact that I am a big fan of the show Revenge and of the character of Nolan Ross. He is a very sexy and well-written character.

Nolan Ross

Though he has been a bit underutilized this season. Give that man his own spin-off.

Number 3.

Piper Chapman (The Smuggler) from Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

Piper Chapman

Portrayed by Taylor Schilling

Piper is the very sexy inmate on the amazing Orange is the New Black. Not a lot of men in a woman’s prison, so most of her sex scenes are with the lovely Alex (Laura Prepon)

Piper behind bars

However, Piper starts the series engaged to a man. And affirms her attraction to men many times during the series. She is one of my favorite bisexual characters.

Number 2.

Bo Dennis (The Succubus) from Lost Girl (ShoCase)


Portrayed by Anna Silk

Lost Girl, the great Canadian fantasy adventure series in its last season, is one of my favorite imports. The story of  a beautiful succubus trying not to be evil, even though she’s the daughter of demons and kills humans by extracting all of their sexual energy for food.

Bo and Dyson

Men, women, werewolves, faeries, demons and all matter of mystical beings want a piece of her. And she does them all. Sounds complicated, but it’s a fun and sexy show. And also Anna Silk is insanely hot. (but I still miss Kensi)

Number 1.

Joe MacMillan (The Salesman) from Halt and Catch Fire (AMC)

Lee Pace

Portrayed by Lee Pace

My favorite bisexual character on TV at the moment is the wonderfully manipulative Joe MacMillan from the incredible show; Halt and Catch Fire. Lee Pace is outstanding.

Halt and Catch Fire

His character is flawed but gorgeous. And he is my pick for the sexiest bisexual character on TV at the moment. Even if he isn’t the nicest guy.

So that’s the list.

I hope you enjoyed it. I’m very pleased that there’s more of a bisexual presence on TV now. And that they run the gambit from good guys to bad guys, from the cheaters to the faithful, from the sexually confused to the not-even-a-little-bit confused. And that many of the bisexual clichés that plagued poorly written Bi characters in the past have become a thing of the past. Nice work, Hollywood.

Loving it.

– Mel

Top Ten Bisexual TV Characters

The TV mega post has taken a turn for the difficult (I hate sitcoms). So instead of wracking my brain to come up with sitcoms (that are still on the air… R.I.P. Community gone too soon), here’s the list I promised you guys after the first installment.

My top ten favorite bisexual TV characters.

The rules are simple.

1) The character should be seen having sex with both men and women on the show (or at least it’s strongly implied).

2) I have to like the show they’re on. and

3) The character has to be sexy.

To the list…


Sex with these two just might kill you, but oh what a beautiful death.

Eric Northman (The Vampire) from True Blood (HBO)

Eric Northman

Sexy Eric

On a show with no shortage of bisexual characters (I like to call it bisexual softcore splatter porn… but that’s just me), Eric Northman’s insatiable lust for sex is only matched by his thirst for blood. A fan favorite from the first season, his character has evolved from being a sexy bad guy to being a sexy good guy to being a sexy badass.

Eric Northman 2

Bloody Eric

He shows up a lot on my blog so needless to say… I want to do bad things with him.

Bo Dennis (The Succubus) from Lost Girl (SyFy)

Bo Dennis and Lauren

Bo on top

This is Bo Dennis (the one on top).

Bo Dennis and Dyson

And here she is on the bottom

Bo has to be careful not to drain all the energy from her lovers. It would kill them. She’s a badass succubus. She uses sexual energy to survive and to heal. She’s the star of the fantastic Canadian show Lost Girl. She leaves a trail of bodies behind her.


She’s so freaking sexy, the queue to be her next victim circles around the block.

Next up…


These two powerful, sexy and well-dressed bad-boys are not to be fucked with.

Nolan Ross (The Hacker) from Revenge (ABC)

Emily (Amanda) and Nolan

Nolan Ross, best friend of Amanda…. Emily… um Amanda,  is a tech genius and master of disguise, who may not intimidate physically but will fuck your shit up with a computer.

Nolan and his boyfriend

Nolan and his boyfriend

He likes boys.

Nolan and his girlfriend

Nolan and his girlfriend

He likes girls.

Nolan in Disguise

Nolan in Disguise

He likes disguises. Nolan is cool. Nolan is sexy.

Frank Underwood (The Powerbroker) from House of Cards (Netflix)

Frank Underwood is an elected official with a thirst for power on the Netflix series House of Cards. No spoilers. No spoilers. Some people still haven’t gotten around to it..

Frank Underwood

“You’d better not spoil a thing.”

But I have to spoil this one little thing in order to justify putting him on this list…

Frank loves his wife.

Frank loves his wife.

Frank loves his wife.

Frank loves his bodyguard

Frank loves his bodyguard

Frank loves his bodyguard.

Frank loves Zoe

Frank loves Zoe

But most of all… Frank loves power. Frank is evil. Frank is sexy.

Next up…


These two hotties will screw anything that moves. Just don’t fall in love.

Oberyn Martell (The Prince) from Game of Thrones (HBO)

Prince Oberyn and Tyrion

Prince Oberyn Martell is a well-dressed renown fighter from the HBO show Game of Thrones. He sauntered his well-dressed ass onto the screen in season four and quickly became a fan favorite for his fighting skills, badassness, and sexual appetite.


“Take off your clothes.”

He likes it all.

Oberyn and Ellaria

Oberyn and Ellaria and a whore (she is not timid)

And so does his lady, Ellaria Sand. They were the sexiest bisexual couple in Westeros. Quite possibly on TV (depending on who Eric Northman is banging). I hate to see him go.

Jack Harkness (The Captain) from Doctor Who & Torchwood (BBC)

Jack likes humans and non-humans alike

“Are you female or male? Oh who cares. Let’s fuck.”

Captain Jack became a fan favorite when he first appeared on the BBC hit Doctor Who and quickly earned a spin-off show called Torchwood. He won us over with his gorgeous smile and his cool-as-hell overcoat. His flirty bravado and his swashbuckling style.

Captain Jack is hot

Captain Jack is hot

Captain Jack is hot.

Jack and Ianto

Jack and Ianto… (heart breaking).

Captain Jack was real hot. But unfortunately Torchwood didn’t last. I hated to see him go.

Next up..


These women leave a path of sexual and physical destruction wherever they go.

Nancy Botwin (The Dealer) from Weeds (SHO)

Nancy Botwin

Nancy sells that MILF weed.

Nancy Botwin is the main character of the Showtime comedy Weeds. A sexy mother of three who manipulates men and women alike with her sexuality and love of danger. She starts off as a minor weed dealer and quickly builds a drug empire, leaving broken hearts and broken bodies in her wake. She’s bad to the bone and sexy to the core.

Nancy behind bars

Nancy behind bars

I can’t officially call her bisexual but she did have a prison fling. So, she makes the list for her sexy time behind bars. The opposite to her exception being next on the list.

Piper Chapman (The Smuggler)  from Orange is the New Black (Netflix)

Piper Chapman

Piper behind bars

Piper Chapman is the main character in the Netflix comedy Orange is the New Black. A sexy bride-to-be who goes to prison for an old drug smuggling charge. She is also manipulative and gets her way with a carefully placed flirty smile.

Piper behind bars

Still behind bars

There has been only one season. So I don’t know if Piper is a lesbian who was in denial for a little bit or bisexual. However she’s slept with men on the show and she’s slept with women on the show, so that qualifies her for this list.

Piper  and Alex

Piper and Alex

Like Nancy, I’m going to call her bisexual. It’s more fun that way.


These women will fuck you, kill you or both. They just haven’t decided yet.

Number Six (The Cylon) from Battlestar Galactica (SyFy)

Number Six

“Baltar. I want to have a three-way with D’anna.” “Oh. Alright. You’ve convinced me.”

Number Six is a Cylon from the space opera Battlestar Galactica. One of the first Cylons to show themselves to the enemy. She was deep undercover (in more ways than one).

Number Six and Baltar

“Would you destroy the world for me?” “You’re damn right I would… oh you’re serious.”

Not actually one single character, Cylon model Number Six are the ultimate femme fatale. Sexy assassin. terrorist. spy and temptress, they don’t know why they love sex so much. They just do. Sex with men, women. And sex with other Cylons.

Mirror Kira Nerys (The intendant) from Deep Space Nine (Synd)

Kira Nerys

Major Kira Nerys

Kira Nerys is a major on Deep Space Nine. A Bajoran, a badass but not evil. However in the mirror universe (bare with me. it’s a Star Trek thing), Kira Nerys was the Intendant of Terak Nor Station (DS9). A Bajoran, a badass, a bisexual and completely bad to the bone.

Kira Nerys kiss

Mirror Kira Nerys

Mirror Universe Star Trek is the best because all the characters are so much sexier.

And that’s ten bisexual characters… but wait there’s more. I also have two sexy fan fiction (and fan art) favorites to add… because I can.


Seven of Nine (The Borg) from Star Trek Voyager (UPN)

Seven of Nine

“I am… what the Borg would call… Very hot.”

Seven of Nine is a liberated Borg drone from Star Trek Voyager. She joined the Voyager crew and quickly became a fan favorite. She had romances with male crew members but the sexual tension between her and Janeway was palpable and inspired tons of fan fiction.

Seven and Janeway

“Seven, can I see you in my ready room?” “Are you ready for me, captain?”

And I’m inclined to agree.

Princess Xena (The Warrior) from Xena: Warrior Princess (Synd)


Xena with a sword.

Xena was a character from Hercules (and her own show) who may have been a demigod but was definitely a badass. She had romances with gods and demigods alike but her relationship with Gabrielle was understood by most fans of the show as more than just friends and it also inspired tons of sexy fan fiction.

Xena and Gabrielle

“We’re not about to kiss, Gabby.” “Oh yes we are.” “No we’re not.” ” Yes we are.”

Okay, now that’s twelve. Which is quite enough bisexual for one post. One for every month of the year (or hours on a clock if you’re a fast worker). This was a fun list to compile and I hope you liked it.

I didn’t include Sherlock because it was never confirmed that he liked men. He has sex with women on the show and in the beginning they assumed he was gay but they were mistaken and the John Watson / Sherlock Holmes (JohnLock) fan fiction is just wrong.

See you guys next time,

– Mel

With The Same Brush

When I get angry at someone
The first thing I say shouldn’t
Insult their sexual identity,
Saying they don’t look like, dress like or act like
A woman or a man, a girl or a boy
As if that’s an insult.
It is not.
I should know better.

When I get angry at someone
The first thing I say shouldn’t
Insult their physical appearance
Saying they don’t look like, dress like or act like
A model or an athlete, or someone who gets paid to workout
As if that’s how everyone should look.
It is not.
And I should know better.

When I get angry at someone
The first thing I say shouldn’t
Insult their cultural identity,
Saying they don’t look like, dress like or act like
This group or that, this stereotype or image
As if it’s a verifiable thing or a rule.
It is not.
And I should really know better.

When I get angry at someone
The first thing I say shouldn’t
Insult their economic affluence,
Saying they don’t look like, dress like or act like
Someone wealthy or employed, viable or valuable
As if that’s the way to judge worth.
It is not.
And you’d really think I would know better.

When I get angry at someone
The first thing I say shouldn’t
Insult their intellectual appearance
Saying they don’t look like, dress like or act like
A sage or a scholar, an egghead or an expert,
As if it were possible to evaluate genius by sight.
It is not.

Because when you get angry at someone
The first words out of your mouth are
What you really think of them
From before you were angry
Without editing
Without filter
Without mincing words
And you may not be angry forever
But they will always know
That you’re the kind of person
Who thinks it’s okay
To judge everyone
By the same rules,
To see everyone
Through the same lens,
To paint everyone
With the same brush.

It is not.
It is not.
It is not.
And I should know better.

– Mel 

End of Year Review: The Good The Bad The Ugly & The Movies from 2012 MEGAPOST

Goodbye 2012. I am happy to see it go.

Goodbye to the fiscal cliff. Goodbye to the most negative presidential election I have ever seen in my life.

Goodbye to end of the world prophecies. Goodbye to the bloodiest year for domestic gun violence since the civil war.

Goodbye to the shittiest year of the 21st century so far.


Let’s get to it…

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Movies of 2012.

THE GOOD of 2012:

Television got even better in 2012. People had less money in 2012. Stayed at home and watched TV more in 2012. So TV producers stepped up their games and brought the goods in 2012. Television was awesome in 2012

Best Television Moments in 2012

In 2012 some of my favorite shows had their best seasons. Here are ten of my favorite things.

Doctor Who: The Snowmen Christmas Special

Doctor Who: The Snowmen

The episode was very good. I love the new companion. She’s as pretty as Rose Tyler, as brilliant as Martha Jones. She’s as fearless as Amy Pond, as cute & funny as Donna Noble. But most of all she’s about as mysterious as River Song. The one word lie detector test scene was amazing.

The Doctor Who Gang

I can’t wait until April. I WANT MORE DOCTOR WHO NOW.

The Walking Dead’s Michonne

Michonne from The Walking Dead

She really made this season of the show for me. She is a badass. A badass, dread-locked, lesbian w/ a samurai sword. Where do I sign? I loved this season. Best one so far.

Rachel Maddow’s Last Show Before Election Day & Her First Show After The Election

Rachel Maddow

I would put both of these shows in the time capsule. Pure Perfection. Rachel really worked overtime this election season. Before he leaves office, President Obama really should reward her in some way. (Exclusive Interview, Medal of Honor, Blanket Pardon for Future Crimes… something nice)

Fringe: The Final Season

Fringe Final Season

The show is fantastic. Still one of the best shows in TV history. Some of their best performances are from this season. And some of their best writing.

Game of Thrones: The Battle of Blackwater

Game of Thrones Blackwater

The episode was one of the best hours of TV in 2012.

Game of Thrones Tyrion

“Those are brave men knocking on our door… Let’s go kill them.”

Peter Dinklage was robbed at the Emmy’s. I can’t wait until March.

Elementary & Vegas

Elementary & Vegas

These are two entertaining & well-written new mystery shows on CBS. With all-star casts. And neither is your run-of-the-mill procedural. Both are great shows renewed for second seasons. Watch them.

Girls:  Welcome to Bushwick a.k.a. The Crackcident

Girls HBO

The Bushwick Episode was the best episode of the season of a thoroughly enjoyable and immensely entertaining show. Lena Dunham did great work last year. I hope the second season is as good as the first.

Breaking Bad’s Evolution of Walter White

Breaking Bad Walter White

This show gets better and better every year. It was already good. It’s criminally good now. (“Say My Name” “Heisenberg.” “You damn right.”) I’m looking forward to an intense finale.

Best Performer in 2012

Anne Hathaway

2012 was most definitely her year. Anne Hathaway has been good for a while but finally everyone else is beginning to recognize her talent.

"You Look Hungry Anne. Could I Tempt You With A Bite?"

“You Look Hungry Anne. Could I Tempt You With A Bite?”

She is incredibly good in Les Miserables. Made me weep my eyes out. I was soaked. Great voice. Great acting. She dropped the weight for the necessary realism. And then proceeded to blow the roof off of every theater in the country.

And the Oscar goes to…

"Don't Play. You Know I Could Eat You Up Little Girl."

“Don’t Play. You Know I Could Eat You Up Little Girl.”

And earlier in the year she kicked ass as Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises. She took an iconic character that has been played to death by Oscar winners and icons in movies and television for decades and she made it her own. Anne Hathaway was my favorite thing in an excellent film (one of my top films of the year…wink).

"Keep Laughing Amanda. I May Not Be Able To Outsing You But I Will Swallow You Whole."

“Watch It, Hathaway. You Know You Can’t Hit Those High Notes Like Me.”
“Keep Laughing Amanda. I May Not Be Able To Out-sing You But I Will Swallow You Whole.”

Anne Hathaway has officially become my favorite actress. She is insanely talented, funny, has a fantastic voice and is gorgeous. The girl is smokin’ hot.

"Okay, I'm Going To Eat You Know."

“Ha Ha. You Wish.”
“Okay, I’m Going To Eat You Know.”

And even when she hosted SNL (a show that has seen better days but looks to be getting back to form) it was their best show of the year.

"All Gone."

“All Gone… Thank You. Thank You.”

And now to bummer town…

THE BAD of 2012

or more accurately

The problems we need to address in 2013

First and foremost…

Movie Ticket Prices

Yep That Looks About Right

Yep That Looks About Right

Come on man, $23.00 for IMAX? And even more for IMAX 3D.  That’s crazy pants. Although I did like the reserved seating for The Hobbit. No line, already knowing where your seats are. (I got cheated out of the Star Trek sneak peek that they promised, however. Still angry about that one)

But guys, seriously, the movie going experience is no longer better than viewing at home. It just isn’t. You have to either make it more special. Maybe a restaurant & movie situation or beer & wine at the movies. Perhaps optional headphones. I don’t know. But it ain’t worth the money as it is, except for maybe when there’s a major event movie coming out, where seeing it the first weekend is important.

Other than that I’ll be waiting for the DVD.


It's A Madhouse! A Madhouse!

It’s A Madhouse! A Madhouse!

It’s the escalation of the mass shootings that troubles me & how the pattern seems to suggest that they are designed in a way to make us feel unsafe in the places that have been our safe havens.

Of course that suggests that there is an intelligence behind them. Not just wacko after wacko trying to outdo, out-evil, out horrify, and one-up the last, instantly famous mass murderer that came before them before they off themselves.

(By the way, fellas, skip right to the last shooting, the one where you shoot yourself. That way you die a hero. You die having killed a probable & future mass murderer. “You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” – Half of a great man said that)

But these trends do not have to have intelligence behind them. The next killer, having seen the way the news vilifies but also enshrines and bathes in the spotlight the previous super villain (these guys think they’re in a comic book or something), then comes up with a new, more heinous way to make us all cringe.

The depths of darkness that someone can dive to when they believe that they are dark to their very core is only limited by imagination.

Universal Mental Health Care (and Health Care in general, for that matter) can do so much to reduce this escalating trend. You need to find these troubled souls when they are too small to make these plans, to hold a gun, to do these things. For our safety, for their family & friends and for the victims.


There Is No Such Thing As Mixed Race To A Racist

There Is No Such Thing As Mixed Race To A Racist

Not just racism, mind you, but race. Because there is no racism without the misguided idea of race.

So why can’t different humans from different regions and different backgrounds just look different: Skin, Hair, Eyes, Height, Weight. Be different: Sex, Personality, Creativity, Intellect, Language. And/Or believe different: Politics, Spirituality, Religion. Be Human without then having to form groups and perpetuate the illusion of a competition.

That’s what sports are for. (And frankly I’d rather be in a soccer riot than a race riot any day)


False Evidence Appearing Real

False Evidence Appearing Real

The misguided fear that believes if homosexuality is universally accepted that they will have no choice but to be gay. Because the only thing stopping them at this point, I suppose, is that people LIKE THEM would attack them. (or other equally stupid reasons to deny Marriage Equality)

And the annoying fear that seems to believe that by accepting a man’s role in human reproduction, as almost nil, somehow makes men more useless than they already are. Leading to this need to legislate reproduction so that they still feel important and involved. Aw, fellas. You feel left out? By how you’re acting, I’m guessing there’s a reason. Uterine envy is ugly business, gentlemen. Stop it. Stop it now.

And the idiotic fear of Science, fear of evolution or climate change FACTS. A fear so great that you deny the validity of scientific discovery, basic Biology & Physics & Math. Fear that somehow science wants to replace god. We are meant to understand… everything. Your willful ignorance would make any deity weep. If your god had wanted us to remain dumb he wouldn’t have made us so curious.

So those are the problems that I believe reached critical mass in 2012. And if we begin to address them, to solve them, we can save the world.

Fear, Race, Terrorism… & Movie Ticket Prices.

Get on that, planet.

And lastly…

THE MOVIES of 2012

There are 3 major films from 2012 that I haven’t seen yet they are Lincoln, Argo & Zero Dark Thirty but I don’t like to see political propaganda films until a few years after their release. And I know they are all amazing. I’m weird, okay?

To the list

My Top Ten Movies of 2012 (and links to where I blog about them)

1. Les Miserables – Anne Hathaway!! (you have to picture me singing that and not just saying it)

Les Miserables (pronounced lay-miz by theater geeks) is easily the best film of the year. It is the best movie musical of all-time. (Yes, better than West Side Story & The Wizard of Oz. Better than Chicago & The Sound of Music. It’s that good)

Les Miserables

It’s the story of Jean Valjean. Imprisoned for stealing a loaf of bread to feed a starving child & how that crime changes his life. It is the story of the police officer, Javert, haunted by his own past and his twisted sense of justice as he tracks down the fugitive. It is the story of Fantine, a woman pushed to her limits in order to keep her daughter safe and fed. It is the story of France in the early 19th century & the class struggles that followed the French Revolution. It is a love story. It is a story of redemption. But most of all, it is a story with some incredible music.

Les Miserables 2

What the filmmakers added to Victor Hugo’s story and Claude Michel-Schonberg’s beautiful music was an insanely talented cast: the aforementioned Anne Hathaway, the insanely versatile Hugh Jackman, the golden throat-ed Amanda Seyfried & the much hated Russell Crowe (He’s a lot better than he is given credit). They sing every line. There is no speaking. And they sing on camera. On set. Every take.

Les Miserables 3

I loved this film. It is perfect. Some complain about the sound stages and the look of the film but having the actors sing on set creates the need to shoot on a sound stage. There are musicians off camera, playing along with the scene, with the actors. You can’t get that realism on location. because you can’t get that sound on location. So I forgive the sets because the MUSIC is the whole movie.

Go See It or at least Rent It (I’m going to buy it)

2. Prometheus – Ridley Scott (Back where he belongs. Making kick ass Sci Fi Horror)

3. Dark Knight Rises – Christopher Nolan & Hathaway as Catwoman (Fantastic end to an amazing trilogy)

4. The Avengers – Joss!!! (Joss Whedon can do no wrong. Honestly)

5. The Hunger Games – Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss (I used to call Lucy, Catness but now I call her Kitty Katniss) This was a surprisingly good movie.

6. Skyfall – Casting Casting Casting (New M, New Q [all the letters are back and better than ever] and Javier Bardem is deliciously villainous)

Skyfall is a return to form for the Bond franchise. The reboot of the series, and the first two films (The first one about how he becomes a superspy, the second about how he deals with becoming a broken man) left out many of the iconic symbols James Bond fans have been used to seeing. This movie brings them all back with a vengeance.


James Bond is back in the saddle. But this time he’s joined by Q branch, M and Miss Moneypenny and the Ashton Martin & the Walther PPK also his favorite drink (shaken, not stirred)

Personally I didn’t like Skyfall as much as the first two Daniel Craig installments in the series (The amazing Casino Royale & the under-rated Quantum of Solace) but I was happy to see all the old favorites back.

Ralph Fiennes as M

However the absolute gem of Skyfall is the performance by Javier Bardem (Hollywood’s creepy bad guy) as the villainous Silva. He is creepy, evil, funny and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Skyfall Javier Bardem

I’m looking forward to, now that the franchise is back up to speed, seeing where Daniel Craig can go with the character. I believe he is the best James Bond since Sean Connery.

7. The Hobbit – I want to go to there. Where? New Zealand (The landscapes and scenery in this film have a starring role. It is gorgeous)

The first installment of The Hobbit Trilogy (I know it’s just one book but somebody should tell Peter Jackson) is a thrill ride. He brings us back to Middle Earth and introduces us to a new group of adventurers. This time: The Dwarves.

The Hobbit Dwarves 1

The party scene, where the Dwarves take over poor Bilbo’s home, to me, is the highlight of the movie. I like how the Dwarves all work as one well-oiled machine. It’s fun to watch.

The Hobbit Dwarves 2

Martin Freeman as the young  Bilbo is expert casting. He fits the role like a glove. He is not the hero (well not on purpose), he is just along for the ride.

Martin Freeman as Bilbo

It remains to be seen how good the last two films will be but this was a great way to start.


And much like in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum steals the movie from the moment he slithers on-screen. Not the best film of the year but in my top ten.

8. Looper – Joseph Gordon-Prosthetic Nose-Levitt (Fantastic film if a bit Timey Wimey)

9. Ted – Seth MacFarlane (Love him. So Funny… & Mila Kunis)

10. Snow White & The Huntsman – Rupert Sanders (For his first feature he did pretty damn good and I don’t mean sleeping with the lead actress)

And Now..

The Bottom Five Movies of 2012 or (how Hollywood spends millions to shit on audiences)

In reverse order

5. John Carter – Mindless Martian Crap

4. Battleship – Loud Abrasive Crap

3. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – Presidential Seal of Crap

2. The Amazing Spider-Man – Comic Book Killing Beautifully Dressed Up Crap

And the worst movie of 2012:

1. Men in Black 3 – A Big ol’ Steaming Pile of Crap

"Why You Be Hatin' On Men In Black 3?"

“Why You Be Hatin’ On Men In Black 3?”


And that, my friends, was my 2012. I did not like this year at all. A lot more bad than good if you ask me. From the election, starting with those hate-filled republican debates, really casting a dark shadow over the year. And the massacres at a movie theater, a temple, a college, an army base & a school along with rampant racism on the internet and talk radio & it was like everybody was in such a bad mood all year.


I’m here to tell you, (I’ve been to the future so listen to me)

2013 was… I mean… will be AWESOME.

Trust me, I’m a Doctor.

"No. I'm the Doctor"

“No. I’m the Doctor”

Doctor who?

Happy New Year Everybody

– Mel

American Above All (The Gripes of Wrath)

I am American above all else.


I alone identify myself.

I alone know myself

Better than you.

I know who I am.

You can only claim to know me.


I am American first

I am LGBT after that

I am Black American shorter there

And lastly I am a Mets fan.

If you dis my team I will defend her.

We may not have been to the World Series in a while

But Bernie Madoff is still in prison

And baseball isn’t an easy game.

If you insult my race I will defend it

Just because you show me a list of things that I can’t do

That you say genetically I can not do

That doesn’t mean there aren’t a whole list of things that I can do

And everyday I will erase another thing from your list

And add another to mine

Every fucking day

If you challenge my way of life & threaten my gay brothers and sisters I will defend them

I will defend their choices & their loves

Their passions and their hearts

If you attack them, you attack me

And if you attack me, you better run

Run motherfucker, run

Who I love has absolutely nothing to do with you



But if you come after my country

If you threaten the American Dream

The American way of life

The values that my fathers fought and died for

That my mothers agonized and bled for

That my great grand parents were stolen for and worked the skin off their backs for

Be you Alien or Human

Foreign threat or domestic

White American or Black

Be you Gay Black American


Mets fan…

If you threaten my people

I will defend them with my life.

I am American first

I am LGBT after that

I am Black American shorter there

And lastly I am a Mets fan.

When you see me

Wherever you see me

In your fear or your hatred

In your pity, your sympathy, your antipathy

You want to spit on me

You want to curse me

You want to tell me I can’t get into heaven

You want to tell me there is a place for me in hell

You want to tell me I am the Great Satan

And everything that’s wrong with the world.

Keep it to yourself

When you see me on the street

When you see me at the club, the bar, the mall, the school, the stadium, the center, the gym, the theater, the park

There is only one thing you are allowed to say to me

And that’s

“Let’s go Mets.”



– Mel

I Want to Ride My Bi Cycle (or Bye Bi Love)

Webster’s defines bisexual as: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward both sexes. My mother defines bisexual as: the reason women get AIDS. All my life I’ve heard the opinion that bisexuals were confused about their sexuality. Confused? I’m not confused about my sexuality. I have never been confused about my sexuality.

Mini SkirtsI’ve liked girls since I was 5 years old but I found out that I liked boys, as well, about 3 years later. At 5 or 6 years old I liked to grab women’s legs. I would latch on to a pair of legs if they wandered too close while I was at the market with my mom. It was the early 70’s and mini skirts were everywhere (god I miss those days). So what was a young pervert to do? My mom says she would have to apologize for me as she peeled me off of a shapely pair of legs in public. (And if you’re not new to my blog then you know that I’ve been a leg man ever since)

But when I was 8 years old I started noticing the older boys in their shorts and I got the same urge to reach out and grab a leg (if you know what I mean). I remember there was this one boy one summer, I didn’t know his name, he was a lot older than me and he was noticeably bulging along his inner thigh, so when we were all sitting around joking I reached over, in front of everybody and grabbed it. I put my hand on the bulge in his shorts and asked innocently, “what’s this?” (I knew what it was) He said “That’s my dick.” And we all laughed and laughed and laughed some more. And after we all stopped laughing, I removed my hand.

When I discovered I liked boys it didn’t stop me from liking girls. Not even a bit. I didn’t even know what bisexual was when I was a teen. I knew what gay was and I knew it was something you hid from other kids to not have them look at you like you had three heads. But hiding my homosexual side was easy for me because I LOVED women. I loved all kinds of women. So I wasn’t pretending to like girls. I was just pretending not to like the guys just as much. Over the years I became the king of the non-gender specific pronoun. It was always somebody, someone, they then we or it, was nice. I could go an entire kiss & tell session without ever using he or she. But I was still lying. Being good with words didn’t stop me from being a liar. Not to myself, I’ve never been in denial, but to the people I cared about.

shirtlessI like dick. (There I said it)
I like girls.
But I also like dick.

And before you start thinking that maybe I’d like girls with dicks. Not necessarily. I mean I like Ice Cream and I like Pizza and yes I could have them together in the same meal (Mmm. Wait, what was I saying?) Oh yeah, I don’t want ice cream on my pizza.

But make no mistake I love ice cream. I love ice cream with a passion. I just also like pizza. And no I’m not going to choose. I don’t think I should have to choose except to say to choose a person. I have always been a relationship type of guy. Not a game player. I like people. I like hearts and minds and eyes and smiles. I find human beings very attractive. But it’s that sentiment, that feeling I got that people wanted me to pick a side, that made me, when I first came out, feel more secure with telling people I was gay than telling them I was bisexual. As if bisexuality was ostracized by both communities. Don’t hate us straight people.  Don’t hate us gay people. We are not freaks. We are the bridge. We are the missing link between hetero & homo.

Don’t hate me because I’m amorous.

But frankly it was easier meeting people when I was high or when I was drunk. You could meet a girl in a club or a bar and open with, “Hi, I have cocaine.” Didn’t work every time but it worked most of the time. Or you could be taking Ecstasy and some dude is rubbing on you and you’re thinking “I don’t know this man… ooh, I do now.” But these days without my personality crutch, I’ve become less hetero, less homo, less bi and just A. Really just straight A. Grade A. All A. But I’ve gotten really good at it so I’m going to give myself an A+.

-Pride (& Lust & strangely enough Gluttony)