This post contains spoilers.
But then again so does yours.
Once again I’m spoiling the shit out of this movie so GET LOST
I’m totally serious.
Warnings over. Let’s get right to it.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Directed by Gareth Edwards
Rogue One is sensational by the way. Rogue One is fantastic. Not for the faint of heart. But they go out of their way to make all of the characters dynamic yet not classically heroic. Even as Jyn is giving her big speech to try to save her father’s legacy and make sure he didn’t die for nothing. You can’t help but think that this is all her fault anyway. If she had grabbed the hologram that her father risked his life to make and sneak out of the facility, that the pilot had lost his mind for, that an entire holy city was destroyed to prevent getting out. If she had just grabbed the damn thing perhaps her little band of rejects would have been an all out assault before they even had a chance to close the gate. But I get it. She’s not a hero. Just a survivor.
Oh but what about that band of misfit rebels. Love it. Love them all.
In order of how much I love them:
The blind monk. The true believer. Chirrut Imwe is strong in the force but untrained. So completely untrained that he has to constantly remind himself that he is one with the force during times of self-doubt. He senses Jyn’s Khyber crystal necklace (OMG I didn’t know the Death Star was just a giant lightsaber). And he doesn’t know why he sees things before they happen without eyes since he was never taught to believe in his own abilities. A homeless man in the holy city. Oh yeah. I loved him.
The rescued Imperial droid who can only tell the truth. I loved him. The scene where K-2SO is trying to lie to the Troopers but can only repeat their questions back to them AS questions is brilliant. The best written character in the movie. Hands down. Beautiful heroic death. When he died I still had hope that some of them might survive. In fact it wasn’t until the next main character dies that I realized they were all going down. I almost lost it in the theater right there.
The pilot. Yeah I know, Bodhi (what’s his last name again?). But he represents redemption. Galen Erso had no idea that his old friend Saw had lost his damned mind when he sent the pilot to him. Had no idea he was going to get tortured by a paranoid soldier who had fought way way way too many battles. What did Rook say? I brought the message. I’m the pilot. He just wanted to do the right thing, build up some merit, clear some bad karma, but it all went to shit. And yeah he finally gets an important message through right before he gets blowed up. He gets his redemption. But then he dies. And the crowded opening night theater went deathly silent.
“Oh my god. They’re all going to die.” we all mouthed in unison. Yeah that’s when I knew nobody was getting out. All that was left was for them to die well. And they did.
So we got a broken droid, a homeless monk and an enemy pilot that had lost his mind with guilt. And then the fighter. The monks friend, Baze Malbus. The non-believer. Who finds his faith at the end avenging the death of his old friend. Just all kinds of bad-ass, mercenary. Pour some beer out for these four. Heroes all.
But the other two, him and her, completely unlikable characters. Cassian is introduced preventing his contact from running away, from escaping the Empire and then killing him in cold blood when he realizes that he’s going to be caught BECAUSE OF HIM. Not a nice guy. Shoots an ally just to make sure his bomb goes off in the right place. Total asshole. Just a few battles away from becoming Saw’s crazy ass.
And Jyn Erso. A bad-ass like the rest of them but in it purely for personal reasons if she’s in it at all. Never thinking about the big picture. Never thinking about anyone but herself. She just wants to redeem her father. Make it so her parents didn’t die for nothing. She’s got a lot of anger and she just wants to let it out. She was raised by Saw Gerrera. So what did we expect? Not the hero.
So what I think I’m saying is, it wasn’t sad that the two main characters die. The other four were sad. Those two were expendable even as they were the most strategically important in the bunch. The other four… the galaxy will feel their loss greatly.
Okay so that’s over. They’re all dead. Everyone in the movie is dead. But they completed their mission. The movie’s over right? NOOOooooooo. The movie has one last scene. And it is the best scene in it. Possibly one of the best final scenes in movie history.
For starters, the story of Rogue One redeems several big plot holes in the original Star Wars. The joke was, “Why would you make a doomsday weapon and then give it a horrible Achilles heel like one good shot will blow the whole damn thing to hell?” well now we know. And again Disney saves Lucas and his bad writing. And Darth Vader. He says cool shit and makes people fear him and his force choke but he never gets to kick ass (except in the cartoon). And now that’s over. He takes on a whole squad of rebels and tears through them like paper. And it’s fantastic because even though you know the plans make it out. (We all saw Star Wars). Vader is so imposing, it’s like damn, these kids have no chance. (Again, George, not how you originally envisioned it) It was so freaking good.
And by the way. THIS IS WHAT A STAR WARS PREQUEL LOOKS LIKE, GEORGE.
So you see the sacrifice of the Rogue One squad and you see how over-powered these guys are against Vader and against the Death Star and against the Empire and when they finally get the plans to Leia, after Vader kills everybody who touches it, I just started crying like a little bitch. That was fucking amazing. And you know the princess doesn’t get away (again we all saw Star Wars) but that was amazing.
That was fucking amazing.
I saw it on opening night so the theater was full of movie fans not a lot of Star Wars fans. And I loved the way the movie separates the kinda fans from the die-hard fans. Several times in the movie there were just three people laughing, me and two other people, and we were laughing hard, and nobody knew why. (Like now we see why Cornelius was in such a bad mood. Why does everyone keep bumping into me? Is it my face?)
Needless to say, I’m going to go see it again in the theater and I’m going to own it on Blu-ray. So, a friend of mine said something on Facebook before I went out. He said Rogue One was the best Star Wars movie after Empire. I know… what? But he’s fucking right. In fact it might be better than Empire. It’s more adult than Empire. Not as crowd-pleasing but it has an ending, like I said, probably the best ending of any movie I’ve ever seen. Empire doesn’t even have an ending.
Damn, the movie was good.
And those are my thoughts.