Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad (with apologies to the BvS Ultimate Edition)

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled.

(Unless Joker hijacks this review and makes it all about Harley)

Harley Quinn

“You heard the man. It’s all about me.”

Suicide Squad (Warner Bros. Pictures)

Nope.

Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad (From the nincompoops at Warner Bros)

Harley Quinn Suicide Squad Poster

Written & Directed by David Ayer  Based on a Character from DC Comics

Starring Margot RobbieWill SmithJared LetoMargot RobbieJoel KinnamanViola DavisJai CourtneyJay Hernandez, Margot Robbie Adewale Akinnuoye-AgbajeIke BarinholtzScott Eastwood & Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie

Let’s get right to it. I really liked this movie. And no one’s forcing me to say that. But I think a lot of what I liked had to do with Margot Robbie’s Harley and Jared Leto’s Joker. So granted I would have liked it better had it just been about those two. And also I agree that the beginning is disjointed and wordy. And after having to sit through all the origin stories, and how each character has their own theme song, and how all the songs are movie cliché needle drops, and how DC comics sucks at making movies (and comics), and how Warner Bros execs have screwed up the last three comic book titles they’ve put out. Knowing all of that. Knowing all that failure that was baked-in from before the opening credits… Suicide Squad ends up being a pretty good film (about the epic love story of Harley Quinn and The Joker: Partners in Mayhem. A movie I have re-titled as Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad). In my completely un-coerced opinion it is the best DC comics movie since Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight.

But that’s not saying much.

suicide-squad-margot-robbie-harley-quinn

“Look Puddin’ I’m a meme… But that’s none of my business.”

And I’d like to add, of my own freewill, that Jared Leto is the best Joker since Mark Hamill redefined the role, rescuing it from Jack Nicholson’s awful interpretation. And since Heath Ledger broke the part by actually becoming the Joker and then dying. Jared Leto is amazing, but not in the film nearly enough.

And here’s the part where he tells you he’s not going to spoil the movie for you because that would be wrong.

Verdict: SPARED

Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad

“I make this look good.”

I saw Suicide Squad at the NYC premiere and I was expecting a mess of a movie on the same level as Batman v Superman. but I wasn’t as disgusted as I thought I would be. It was alright. No seriously. No one’s holding a gun to my head or anything. I actually liked it.

Don’t look at ME.

Batman from Suicide Squad

Joker & Harley’s Batman-sized car ornament shaped like Ben Affleck.

By the way, dear readers, I watched the Ultimate Edition of Batman v Superman before going. And at well over three hours long, I see why they needed to cut some shit out (language). The idiots at Warner succeeded in cutting out the movie’s heart. Every cut was wrong. Completely fucking wrong (LANGUAGE). What needed to be cut were special effects shots and explosions and large expensive set pieces. But what they cut out was story and coherence and good performances and logic. And what was left is more like the producers flung excrement at the screen and proclaimed proudly “Look mommy. I made a stinky.” And we’re all expected to hang it on the fridge like proud parents.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad

“I really like this guy.”

I wanted to do a blog post on how much better the Ultimate Edition is from the theatrical release but it was just paragraph after paragraph of me cursing about how fuck**g stupid (Better) the studio was in their cutting and slashing and justifying. And I get it; They needed a shorter movie so they could squeeze in another showing in a day and make the studio more money in the first month. But after that month was over, maybe they should have put it all back again or made the cuts I suggest here, respecting story and logic. Cuts to BvS that go against every instinct in their expensive business suit wearing bodies.

suicide-squad

“Just tell me… where… they… are.” “Easy, Vasquez… um… ALIENS… Rent it.”

“You can’t cut this special effects shot,” They’d say. “It cost us millions.”

You know what cost you millions? Putting that crap in theaters the way you butchered it, ASSHOLES (I’ll allow it). Now you see why I didn’t do a blog post.

Jared Leto as The Joker in Suicide Squad

“Woooooo.”

But what were we talking about… Oh yes. Suicide Squad (Excuse me). I mean Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad. The movie is fun and cool and the characters are interesting and full of Bad Good Guys and Good Bad Guys, however you want to look at it. But it’s the casting here that truly shines. The actors are all amazing. Even Cara Delevingne who still can’t act but is not as annoying as she usually is in other movies. But you know it’s all about my girl Margot. Long-time readers of my blog will know how much I love her and think that if they let her play something other than the hot girl she’d really show us something (Other than her ass). And of course Jared and Will can each carry a movie. Both guys can go above the title, and for good reason. They are all sensational in it. The cast is not to blame for the weak quality. Not at all.

Will Smith and Margot Robbie in Suicide Squad

“See. I told ya we’d hook ya up. Did I lie?” “Aren’t you cold in that?” “I’m crazy.” “Crazy hot.”

What I had a problem with was the crowd pleasing classic movie tunes. Not because they are all over-used needle drops. But because there were so many of them. Each character had their own rock song intro theme and it was too much and too cheesy. Actually the entire first half hour was hokey and awkward. But once they get past the sloppy-ass way they introduce the characters, the movie is pretty decent. The relationships feel real. The characters are three-dimensional and the actors do a great job. This is a DC comics movie, so all the characters are extremely paper-thin from the start. Marvel has always had more depth in their heroes (Careful). One of the reasons I never picked up any DC titles as a kid was they were all so dumb (Except for Batman). Except for Batman. So when I say three-dimensional characters, I mean more like origami or paper airplanes. The actors themselves add more depth and save a flimsy premise populated by minor characters defined by their countries of origin. They don’t call DC; Dumb Comics for nothing. I get it. She’s Japanese and he’s Australian. He’s got a boomerang and she’s got a katana. I’ll try not to feel insulted (Geez. This guy’s a real spoil sport).

Margot Robbie and Jared Leto in Suicide Squad

“You’re gonna like this part, my dear.” “Don’t call me my dear. I’m your doctor.” “You wanna play doctor?” “That’s not what I meant.”

But having said that, I found the Harley and Joker story very enjoyable. I thought Margot Robbie did an exceptional job balancing the crazy with the sexy. Marrying the homicidal with the likable. Just when you’re thinking she’s just the hot chick, or just the girl, or you’re staring at her ass, she cracks your skull open with a mallet and laughs at your corpse. Somehow though I think Jared Leto, and his “method” acting may have even helped her… in a weird way. And Will Smith, I’m sorry, he can’t play a bad-guy. Not really. So it’s hard to paint him as a villain. But he tries to sneer every once in a while to sell it. But what Will is good at is making the action look cool and he does. However his quiet scenes with Margot are some of the best in the movie.

And I can’t wait for the Joker and Harley movie to come out. What a great relationship those two have. I’d buy that video tape from my local Blockbuster video store for sure.

Harley and Joker the movie

“That was nice but ya know Blockbuster’s outta bizness right?” “You’re outta business.”

Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad is better than the critics say and a thousand times better than Batman v Superman. And, in my opinion, it’s worth the price of admission. Unless of course you want substance (Hey). There’s very little of substance (Uncool). It’s not substantial at all. It’s mostly fluff (Watch it, you). But it’s fun fluff (That’s better). Gun to my head, I’d even buy the Blu-ray (I’ll get my REAL gun). And like I said, it’s the best DC comic book movie since The Dark Knight.

But again, dear reader, that’s not saying much.

– Mel

(J.) Voiced by Mark Hamill of course

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3 thoughts on “Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Harley Quinn & The Suicide Squad (with apologies to the BvS Ultimate Edition)

  1. Good review! I had fun watching Suicide Squad in the theater but I found my opinion of it actually went down somewhat in the month that’s passed since I watched it. 😦 I really want to see the extended cut of Batman v. Superman because the whole time I was watching that movie, I couldn’t help thinking, I think there could have been a really great movie hidden in here amongst the choppy editing. I feel the same way about Suicide Squad. Harley was such a fascinating character, and it was a great performance. I thought Jared Leto’s Joker was really interesting; I want to see more of this character. But it felt like overall the film just didn’t come together in the end like I was hoping it would. However, I’m definitely on board for Wonder Woman next year. Hopefully it will be as great as the trailer hints at!

    Liked by 1 person

    • With their track record and the epic scale of the Wonder Woman story and their desire to bring her into the present day well before the movie ends. I get the feeling WW will be a sloppy mess as well. I hope not but WB hasn’t proven they can handle anything of that scale. From Paradise Island to the past to the present and I doubt they keep it linear. I bet they jump around too. I have zero confidence in their ability to pull it off. I’m sorry.

      Liked by 1 person

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