This post is full of spoilers.
MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILERS!!!
I saw Captain America: Civil War on Friday. Yes. Yes. It is an amazing movie. Just like Winter Soldier, it’s more than just a comic book movie. It’s political intrigue and espionage. Very well-written and directed. Though it can be said that the entire movie is just a set-up for one incredibly cool battle sequence. But that’s alright with me. There is an epic battle in an airport that’s worth the price of admission. So many good match-ups in that sequence alone. Amazing.
One more time…
Civil War is almost as good as that first Avengers movie (almost) and it too has some amazing match-ups. Some of the best superhero on superhero fight scenes since the original. I loved it. I loved every minute of it.
Here is my top ten list of my favorite fights in Civil War. Some fights are shorter than others but all have something about the match-up that I thought was cool. Pay attention. There’ll be a test later. It represents half of your grade.
Captain America: Civil War (Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Starring Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Emily VanCamp, Tom Holland, Frank Grillo, William Hurt & Daniel Brühl
“What do we do, Cap?”
To the list…
10. Captain America vs. Brock/Crossbones
This is one of the first fights in Civil War. It’s everyone’s favorite Hydra bad guy Brock and he’s back looking a little worse for wear. He has some technological enhancements and he gives Cap a good fight in the opening sequence. Before getting blowed up good.
9. Black Widow & Sharon Carter vs. Winter Soldier
These two women kick serious ass but this fight is brutal. Bucky is in full Winter Soldier mode, killing people right and left. Sharon and Natasha try to take him down.
They try to. These girls are not in his weight class. But it is one of the better choreographed fights. I like that the first thing Natasha does is punch him in the nuts. And Sharon gets to show off her fighting skills in this movie.
8. Spiderman vs. The Falcon
This is one of the funnier fights. Spiderman is definitely the comic relief on the Iron Man side. We know Spidey. He will talk a bad guy’s ear off while kicking his ass. Spiderman kicks ass all over the place, talking shit the entire time. But in this battle Falcon finally tells him to shut the hell up.
7. Giant Man vs Team Iron Man
Massive spoiler. Ant-man becomes Giant Man in that airport fight. It’s awesome. Changes the battle dynamic immensely and helps Cap and Bucky get away. This one was cool because Giant Man was one of the original avengers. Also if they do an Ant-man sequel, it will be interesting to know that he has this one in his back pocket. I also liked that Spiderman uses The Empire Strikes Back as a reference for how to beat him.
6. Black Panther vs. Captain America
One of the coolest new characters is Black Panther. He brings the martial arts action and, in my opinion, kicks Captain America’s ass in a few small fights throughout the movie. I can’t wait to see what they do with the character in his own movie.
5. Ant-man vs Iron Man
Ant-man shrinks down to a size small enough to get inside Iron Mans suit, Hawkeye fires him through the air and he starts pulling Iron Man apart from the inside. Only Tony’s new AI F.R.I.D.A.Y. saves him with the internal fire suppression system. Otherwise he was about to get undressed by the little guy.
4. Black Widow vs. Hawkeye (Broken up by Scarlet Witch)
This is a fun fight because they’re great friends and the entire time they’re chatting and it’s funny because they’re pulling their punches until Scarlet Witch just ends it for them because they weren’t really fighting. They were just sparring. Go fight other people.
3. Scarlet Witch vs. Vision
Speaking of Scarlet Witch we see again in this movie how she’s the strongest and in some ways the weakest Avenger. Wanda takes Vision down brutally. Also they hint at the future romance between them. It’s very cute. Making the way she brutally kicks his ass even more heart-breaking. She forces him first to his knees and then through the floor and through the ground and just buries him in a hole like a mile deep. The only way it could have been more crushing is if he were in the middle of telling her how much he loved her when she did it.
2. Spiderman vs. Captain America
Seriously Spiderman has some of the best fights. He takes on both Cap and Bucky and not only holds his own but kicks ass. I say “kick ass” a lot in this post because that’s basically all that happens in Civil War. A lot of kicking ass. I like that Iron Man sends Spidey to fight Cap. Not because they’re about equal strength but because Cap doesn’t know him and Captain America’s biggest strength is his tactical mind. So Tony sends a complete unknown after him and he kicks Cap’s ass… for a while.
1. Iron Man vs Captain America & Bucky
After all the cool fights, the best fight by far is the climactic battle with Iron Man fighting Captain America and Bucky. This is the coolest because Cap and Bucky are fighting together like they’ve known each other for decades. Oh that’s right they have. And neither one could take Iron Man alone. And for most of the movie the fights aren’t as brutal as they could be because everyone is a good guy and no one is trying to kill anybody…
Except for in the last fight where the gloves come off. And they are trying to beat the shit out of each other. This is the epic battle the movie builds to and it does not disappoint.
Some Random Thoughts:
Steve is so old school, he had to wait for Peggy Carter to die before making moves on her niece Sharon. That was considerate.
I have never liked the fact that Spiderman made his own suit. I’m more okay with him making his on web slingers. It’s much more believable that Stark Industries whipped a cool costume up for him. After the credits they show off some of the cool tech they included for the Spiderman movie. Can’t wait. Tom Holland is great as a young Spidey.
No one was more disappointed than I when Black Widow didn’t throw down with King T’challa’s gorgeous female body-guard. I would have paid extra for that one.
The trailer leads us to believe that Bucky disables War Machine and that’s why Tony is going after him with deceptive editing. It’s Tony’s arc reactor that he tries to rip out (before Tony blows his fucking arm away) and it’s Vision who destroys War Machine’s reactor by accident because he’s worried about Wanda. I hate when trailers are creatively edited so that it changes the plot of the movie.
Tony was willing to use his arc reactor on Bucky but wasn’t willing to use it on Steve. In my opinion that’s the only reason he loses that final fight. He blasted Thor with it in the first movie. He hit Bucky with it and it disintegrated his arm. Had he used it on Cap when Cap was on top of him… fight over. Of course it may have killed him.
I thought Batman v. Superman was bad before but now that I can compare it to Civil War, it is pure crap. DC movies suck ass… honestly.
So in conclusion, Captain America : Civil War is a great movie. With some great fights and a good story. I’m still #TeamIronMan though. Just sign the damn accords Cap. What the hell, man.
Now here comes the new quiz.
Talk to you guys later.