Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Spectre

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled

Spectre (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)

Spectre Poster

Directed by Sam Mendes

Written by John LoganNeal PurvisRobert Wade and Jez Butterworth  Based on James Bond by Ian Fleming

Starring Daniel CraigChristoph WaltzLéa SeydouxBen WhishawDave BautistaNaomie HarrisMonica BellucciRalph Fiennes & Andrew Scott

What a dud! Talk about shooting blanks. I can’t think of one part that was good. The last three Daniel Craig, James Bond films were light-years ahead of Spectre. Christoph Waltz is wasted on a character whose only diabolic scheme is to bug the world’s intelligence agencies. Really? Is that all you guys have left? What a waste of a James Bond film.

Verdict: SPOILED

Spectre Q and James Bond

“What are you reading?” “It’s Mel’s blog.” “Does he write about spy movies?” “Sure.” “Bond movies?” “He loves them.” “Does he write about our movie?” “No he does not.”

SPOILER ALERT

In Casino Royale we see James Bond become the agent. We see his first assignment and his first kill, It is by far the best of the Daniel Craig run as the British super spy. A departure from the Pierce Brosnan days of the franchise because of its stark realism.

Spectre

“I’ll show you some stark realism.”

In Quantum of Solace we see the broken James Bond. We see the tragedy that made him an agent and his quest for revenge. He has his license to kill and he’s going to damn well use it. I loved the movie even though it gets bad press. After Casino Royale it was a nice follow-up with some truly memorable chases and action sequences. Less realism, Bond was becoming the super spy that we know and love.

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Skyfall

“I’m Daniel Craig as James Bond from Skyfall and I’m here to find out if you liked the movie Skyfall. You have exactly three seconds to tell me you liked Skyfall.”

In Skyfall we see him in his element. All the parts are assembled. His friends are there. His spy family. We see him become the superhero. The James Bond phenom. The icon. The car. The gun. Moneypenny. Q… M… All the letters are there. And the action is over the top and his skills are second to none. This is the James Bond that the fans were waiting for. A love letter from the Daniel Craig era to the Sean Connery days. Now he is truly Bond, James Bond. I really liked Skyfall.

Daniel Craig in Spectre

“Well that escalated quickly.”

Thus setting up the first movie since the reboot where all the parts are in place; Spectre. Now we get to meet James Bond’s arch-enemy. But no. They hardly ever show the fabulously evil Blofeld. We get some other guy who just calls himself Blofeld at the end. (It reminded me of The Mandarin from Iron Man III). Yeah he’s got the cat and now he has the scar across his face. But just because he claims to have been the author of all of our hero’s pain, it don’t make him evil. It doesn’t make it so. They’re just words.

spectre-daniel-craig-monica-bellucci

“Am I wrong to think that you’re hot for me?” “What are you talking about? I’ve just come from my husband’s funeral.” “So I’ll take that as a yes.” “You need a lesson in consent, Mr. Bond.”

Christoph Waltz is wasted on a bad story and the most non-evil, evil scheme in the history of Bond films. This is what we get post-Snowden. Surveillance as the greatest evil James Bond has ever faced. Well I was sorely disappointed and so was James. This can’t be the finale that you were setting up in the first three films? There were no amazing chases. Even the airplane chase was mediocre from Bond standards. James Bond films have some of the best chase scenes in the history of cinema.

James Bond in Spectre

FAKE CHESS GAME ALERT!!! No one is playing chess on that board. Both kings are in check. That can never happen.

Here’s the conclusion: If you ain’t got an evil scheme AND an idea for an over-the-top wild ride epic chase scene that makes the audience gasp, then don’t make a James Bond film. Or at least don’t call it a James Bond film. Call it a Mission Impossible film (oh snap). Hell this plot would fit better in an Austin Powers m-m-m-movie.

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Spectre

“Dr. Evil I presume?”

I am a big James Bond fan and Spectre was a big disappointment. The organization deserved better (I liked the way it was handled when it seemed like Spectre was all in 007’s mind). Anything would have been better than this. And Blofeld deserved more screen time, even if you just see his lap and the cat and recognizing Christoph’s accent without seeing his face. He deserved a better plan. He deserved a better reason for torturing James Bond than, “My daddy didn’t love me because of you.” Does anybody remember… “Do you expect me to talk?” “No Mr. Bond I expect you to die.” And then there’s Daniel Craig, my second favorite James Bond. He deserved a better send off than this.

Spectre was the shadow of a James Bond film and nothing more.. A disappointment.

– Mel

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3 thoughts on “Spared or Spoiled Reviews: Spectre

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