Spared or Spoiled Reviews: The Martian

The rules are simple. The good get spared. The bad get spoiled.

The Martian (20th Century Fox)

The Martian Poster

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by Drew Goddard  Based on The Martian by Andy Weir

Starring Matt DamonJessica ChastainKristen WiigJeff DanielsMichael PeñaKate MaraSean BeanSebastian StanAksel Hennie & Chiwetel Ejiofor

One of the best films of the year. Ridley Scott is a master in his craft. Matt Damon is a master in his craft. Drew Goddard writes a terrific script. They have made a sensational piece of entertainment. The Martian is so funny. It truly is a comedy. Some people were confused about the category but make no mistake, The Martian is an amazing survival adventure comedy and it is one of the best and funniest films of the year.

Perfect in every way.

Verdict: SPARED

Matt Damon is The Martian

“That’s it for me. You can’t get any better than perfect.”

Matt Damon plays a botanist who is accidentally stranded on mars, a planet months of travel time away from Earth. When his crew believes he has died during a freak sand storm, Matt Damon must become the ultimate scientific survivalist. He has to find a way to stay alive without food on a completely inhospitable planet. He has to find a way to stay alive until NASA can rescue him or at least send him some snacks.

The Martian Crew

“It’s just so sad.” “Aw c’mon. It’s a soccer ball with a face drawn on it.”

This is a fantastic story. But it’s the humor of Matt Damon’s castaway that really makes it so enjoyable. He spends most of the movie talking into a recording. Updating his progress for the benefit of whomever will find his body. It’s basically months and months of gallows humor that make up the bulk of the movie. And it is so funny. This is a comedy.

Donald Glover in The Martian

“Why are there so many comedy actors in this movie but drama boy has the best lines?” I DON’T KNOW. WHY DON’T YOU WRITE A RAP ABOUT IT.

The cast is wall to wall my favorite people. Jessica Chastain, Kate Mara, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jeff Daniels (from Newsroom), Donald Glover (Childish Gambino), Mackensie Davis (from Halt & Catch Fire), Kristin Wiig. The cast is amazing. And they all bring the proper balance of seriousness and comedy to make this dire situation entertaining.

Matt Damon in The Martian

“Chips… Hash Browns… Fries… Mashed… Baked… um Crisps. Don’t forget about crisps.”

This is one of Ridley Scott’s best films and this is a man who has directed a ton of the best movies in movie history. This is the guy who directed Blade Runner for god sake. Back up the awards truck. This movie is going to win a bunch of awards.

The Martian Mission Control

“Oh my god. Did he just jinx us?” “Yes. I think he did.” “That bastard!”

Honestly, if this weren’t the year we got a new (and truly incredible) Star Wars film. And if this weren’t the year we got a new (and fucking incredible) Mad Max film. If not for the fact that those two movies are two of the best movies… ever. This would be the year of The Martian. Fantastic in every way. There isn’t a thing wrong with this movie. Every performance on point. Every beat perfect. Every laugh hysterical. I am in awe. I’m in awe of the bad timing. And the bad marketing. But mostly the timing.

Matt Damon as The Martian

WHATCHA DOIN’ MATT? “I’m counting the days to the Oscars” WHY? “Because if this movie doesn’t win anything, I’m gonna kick your ass for jinxing us.”

Ridley Scott is, once again, my favorite living film-maker. And he proves his versatility with this science (…fiction we’re not on Mars yet) comedy adventure. And it is the third most entertaining film I have seen this year. But in any other year it would be the first.

The Martian is a fantastic.

– Mel


2 thoughts on “Spared or Spoiled Reviews: The Martian

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