Looking back over a year’s worth of Spared or Spoiled Reviews, I noticed that there were a lot more spoiled than there were spared. It’s not me, it’s the movies. There were a bunch of extremely disappointing movies in 2015.
So here are 20 movies I reviewed that weren’t up to snuff. I’ve arranged them in order of disappointment. With the movies I had high hopes for ahead of movies I had little hope for. With the movies that were very bad ahead of the movies that weren’t really that bad.
So I’ve ranked my disappointment, you see. You get it, right?
I also include a link for each one to my original review. If I don’t, just click on the title.
To the list…
My Top Twenty Biggest Cinematic Disappointments of 2015
At number one is the only movie on the list I did not review but hated just the same… I mention it in my What’s Good post under the headline of What’s NOT so Good.
Chappie is crappy. And I wanted it to be good. I really did. I had high hopes for the director, Neil Blomkamp. I loved District 9 and Elysium wasn’t all that bad. But Chappie was in fact crappy.
Again. I love the directors. I’m a big fan of The Wachovskis. Jupiter Ascending was complete garbage… in every way. Click on the title for my review.
3. Ted 2
The first Ted was very funny. The second Ted… not so much.
4. Get Hard
I wasn’t expecting much from Get Hard but it is one of the worst movies of the year, so disappointing (by definition).
I wanted American Ultra to be good… it was not. Click on the title for my review.
Wow was I disappointed with Fantastic Four but I kind of knew going in that it wasn’t going to be that good. It was horrible.
7. Hot Pursuit
I knew this would be one of the worst movies I would ever see. I had no idea it would be the worst movies ever made. I wrote…”(Hot Pursuit) is bad in every way a movie can be bad and then it invents new ways to be bad.” Can’t wait for Hot Pursuit 2.
I thought this would be a return to form for The Terminator franchise. Needless to say I was disappointed. But I didn’t spoil it. I invented a new category for it: UNSPOILED.
They should have just made this Taken 3. But it was just as bad.
I knew it was going to be bad and it was bad. Not disappointing. Just bad.
Tomorrowland was a big disappointment but the movie had its moments. Decent effects. A few great action sequences. Tomorrowland was bad but it wasn’t that bad.
12. The Voices
I knew nothing about The Voices going in but it was a little too much creepy for me and far too disturbing for its own good.
13. Jurassic World
What can I say about Jurassic World that I haven’t already said in my rant. You can find my rant here. It bothered me. It had its moments but it bothered me.
Wasn’t expecting a lot from Kingsman but I was hoping it would be fun and funny and exciting and cool. And it was none of those things. It was bad.
15. Z for Zachariah
I saw this movie as a racist, ageist, sexist, horrendous political attack on science and Liberalism but maybe I was reading too far into it. Click on the title for my review .
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl really wasn’t that bad. It just wasn’t that good. My disappointment was that it started so well and then went off on a tangent.
Didn’t think anyone could screw up Cinderella… but they did.
This movie was too silly for me. It was about my people and it was just too silly. Great music though. Really great soundtrack. Click on the title for my review.
Here’s another one with great music but a disappointing movie. A great beginning but it loses its way halfway through. If only they had concentrated on the music more.
20. Paper Towns
As much as I enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars, I expected more from Paper Towns. It was cute and I loved the characters, I just didn’t believe HER as a character, or a love interest. And the story doesn’t work without her. I think I would have liked the book better.
And that was my list of disappointments.
There were more bad movies in my 2015 than I would have liked, but I still had fun reviewing them. Don’t get me wrong, my favorite reviews are the ones where I love the movie. Where I absolutely love the fuck out of it. Those are the most fun. But when a movie makes me angry, those can be fun too.
So here’s hoping that the movies of 2016 are either incredibly good… or hilariously and horrendously bad. No middle ground.
Raise you glasses in the air.
“NO MIDDLE GROUND!!!”