Surveillance State: Hero of the Sheeple

Edward Snowden

The man is a world hero. He should get a nobel peace prize… or something… for his unbelievable bravery and strength of character. If there were more Edward Snowden’s in the world… Like maybe 300 million more… well… I know it would look weird… but the world would be a safer place. And more private. Much more private. God bless you Edward Snowden.

The man… He is a saint. I never thought there were true heroes walking the earth until I heard his name. Ed-ward Snow-den. It’s like a mantra or an operatic lament to everything that’s wrong in this world. He’s like James Bond and Jason Bourne meets Thomas Crowne and Carlos the Jackal all rolled into one, with a hot stripper girlfriend and a G.E.D.

He’s the greatest thing to happen to people who have no idea where their personal data has been or where it’s going. They bought the camera. They turned it on. Turned the GPS on and agreed to the terms of service. They’re the ones who put their lives online. But they’re mad. They’re really mad that all that data is being used for… something.

Oh, I hope and I pray that no one shoots Mr Snowden in the fucking head. Please god… please… don’t let him disappear never to be heard from again.

That would be just awful.

But if you did that then we all will promise never to stalk another ex on Facebook or view another paparazzi photo or utilize this lack of privacy, we all agreed to, for our own enjoyment.

Pinkie swear.


– Mel


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