So This Happened… Election 2012 (The Gripes of Wrath)

Thank you to everyone who stood in line for hours. Your country appreciates you. You guys rocked.

But here’s the problem.

I reject the notion that President Obama would not have won re-election if he weren’t African American, that somehow being black won him votes. Even though his being black did in fact get him more votes. I know that sounds like a contradiction but his race did not switch voters from Republican to Democrat. Not at all… or just a handful out of millions and millions.

His race increased the total number of people who voted. People who voted for Obama because he is black are people who would not have voted at all but the same can be said about people who only got into politics because the president was from a race that they have prejudicial feelings for or are bigoted against. Those people also increased the number of voters. Both of these things are fine with me. The more people that vote the more our government reflects our nation.

Also the idea that White voters are a minority is crazy. 72% is not a minority. Sure if you remove women from that percentage then maybe White men are a minority but to state that President Obama would not have won if he weren’t black is ludicrous.

And my Twitter was full of racism and idiotic conspiracy theories. So let me address those people:

A white man with the same views, same name, same policies, same everything, wins by a greater margin than this Barack Obama. First of all, your racist, ignorant, backwoods, hateful, crotch-scratching, FOX News watching, fat & gullible ass would not have voted at all. You would have sat on your couch in a pool of your own sweat mixed with Cheeto dust complaining about the government but doing nothing. People like you, but who participate, might have realized how much the other guy was a tool of the wealthy and not fit for the office. And the idea of suppressing the minority vote would have never occurred to anyone.


That’s right, a white Barack Obama wins by more than the LANDSLIDE that happened on Election Day.

He did not win because he is black. He won because of his strength, his intelligence, his wisdom, his charisma, his amazing constitution and yes even his dexterity. That’s right Barack Obama is a bad-ass Dungeons & Dragons character. AND YOU WILL RESPECT HIS +126 ELECTORAL BATTLEAXE OF KICKING REPUBLICAN ASS.

And since there won’t be a black candidate next time, either Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton or both, you can go back to sleep.

I’m done.

And now, with a mandate from the people, it’s time to get back to work.

Love my country,

– Mel


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