Honesty

There’s only one thing
I’ve ever said
That is 100% true

I don’t know
What that says about me
But I know what it says about
Honesty;
Everything else is a lie

From the little white lie
That doesn’t hurt anyone

And I don’t know
For sure what qualifies
As a harmless lie

Is it answering “I’m fine”
To the question, “How are you?”
When I feel like dirt

Is this a victimless lie?
I don’t know

It’s possible both parties would benefit
From knowing how I actually feel
Or maybe the other person
Really really really doesn’t want to know

Is it saying “He looks like he lost weight.”
Or “Her new haircut is cute,”
Wishing a rival “Good Luck.”
Or saying “Sure I’d love to see pictures of your baby.”
When it’s not true at all?

I don’t know but sometimes I feel
Some would be better served by the truth

The
“Good god you’re getting fat. Lay off the donuts.”

Or
“Sweetie it really only matters if you like your hair but frankly I don’t.”

Saying
“Dude, I will break you. Bring your “A” game or you will get stomped.”

And
“No one wants to see pictures of that ugly ass kid. Leave me alone.”

From the little lie
All the way to the big brass,
Soul crushing,
Relationship destroying,
Conscience burning lie that
I will not mention here
(A lie of omission)
And you probably don’t want to hear
(A lie of convenience)
But the truth is
I don’t know

There’s only one thing
I’ve ever said
That is 100% true

There have been
Many many many
(One many too many)
Partial truths
Half truths
Statements steeped in truth
But seasoned with inaccuracies

I don’t know how many
Or how many times I’ve said
Something that’s ostensibly true
Yet implied a complete un-truth
(But it’s a lot)

It is the most popular class;
The  Not Entirely True

From something as innocuous as
My name is…

Sure, my name is what I call myself
My name is Mel
But that’s not entirely true
My given name is Melvin
But no one calls me that
(No one with any affection for me)
And even that isn’t my full name
Or my real name
Or the name written on my heart

But I don’t know
If that counts as a lie?
Of course it doesn’t, right?
Let’s just call it 95 to 99% true
And that’s a fact about which I’m pretty confident

What about all the things I’m not sure of
And all the things
I don’t know

There’s only one thing
I’ve ever said
That is 100% true

Not I love you
or I miss you
Nothing that could be quantified
Or qualified
Can be 100% true

Nothing that involves precision
Not the time
Nor the weather

It was true a second ago
It was true last week
However, it is no longer true

And to be honest with you
It wasn’t completely accurate
WHEN I SAID IT!

Science…
Math…
That’s just me parroting something someone else told me.

Am I splitting hairs?
I don’t know
Let’s call it 90 to 95% true

True enough
But not 100%
Faith.

Or we could get all existential
And I could say
“I am.”
There is nothing so fundamental as
My own existence
I
Am

I think therefore
I am
Blogging
I am
Writing
I am
Re-writing
I am

…Only about 85% sure that I even exist.

You could be dreaming me.
We could be dreaming each other
I don’t know

Honestly
I don’t know if I will post this
I don’t know if anyone will read this
I don’t know if this is making any sense

Because as it turns out
The lie I have told the most often
The one thing I have lied about more than anything else
Call it
My “go to” lie
My automatic lie
More than likely
My first lie

The lie that I keep repeating
Is also the only thing I am completely
And totally sure about
You see

There’s only one thing
I’ve ever said
That is 100% true

And I’ve said it a lot.

– Mel

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