Post Office Politics


I got into an argument with a man at the post office today. He was irate because the office had lost all of his mail for 3 weeks. No laughing matter. But as he began to bang on the bullet-proof glass from across the lobby, the woman who had been fetching packages from a side door, closed and locked the door. I was next in line.

I was being patient. Sure I wanted my Amazon box. (A new can opener, A new game controller and Brita filters) but I could wait for the excitement to die down. However when we heard the door lock, I asked the man in front of me “Did she just lock the door?” The man smiled and sad “I think so.” Which made me chuckle. Tough guy from across the room heard my laugh and assumed I was laughing at him. An argument ensues.

He’s mad. He’s angry. I’m insensitive. “You wouldn’t laugh if it were your mail. So shut the fuck up.” I apologize and tell him we weren’t laughing at him. But he wants to “step outside.”

I say “Just calm down.”

He replies “What are you my life coach?”

It was then I annoyingly repeated my suggestion to calm down. Not what I should have said. What I should have said was “Wait… you have a life coach? Then he’s not doing that great a job is he?” but I just said “calm down” again.

Him: Mind your own business and don’t tell me what to do.

Me: (smiling) Don’t tell me what to do.

Him: (Angrier) Don’t tell me what to do.

Me: Fine… then we’re all in agreement here.

I fully expected a few laughs from that last line but I guess everyone thought there was going to be a fight and didn’t want to get him any angrier. I knew there wouldn’t be one.

The supervisor emerges and tells him his mail is gone. He curses and begins to storm off. But before leaving tells me if I want to step outside, we can step outside.

I say, “You go and wait for me. I’ll be there in a minute.”

He wasn’t there.

And I was all ready for some more posturing and puffing. Next time.

I got cans to open and noobs to frag while drinking clean water.

Oh yeah. Remind me not to go outside anymore.

– Mel


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